The Dutch Oven: Not Intended for Commercial Use or Child Berthing

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Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

  • Freddy Got Fingered for Flushing's Fifth Rotation Slot: Congratulations to Omar Minaya for winning the Freddy Garcia Sweepstakes! He'll get a 32-year-old right-handed starting pitcher well into his career decline who has thrown just 73 innings in the past two seasons for the low, low price of $9 million (with incentives, of course). I guess the bright side of this signing is that it makes the Tim Redding deal look good in comparison.

  • Ned Colletti Is Hungry for the Wolf, Thirsty for the Rosso di Montalcino: Folks, there's a run on fourth starters so hurry up and get yours while the gettin's still good. Cough cough Oliver Perez cough. Rumour has it that the Dodgers are on the verge of replacing Derek Lowe with vet Randy Wolf. He'll be the most powerful Wolf in Hollywood, displacing Scott Wolf who hasn't been paid to act in over three years.

  • Prince Fielder and the Brewers Make Nicey Nice: Milwaukee won't be going to arbitration with their portly first baseman after all. Just a few hours after I talked about the $2 million difference between the two parties, the Brewers signed Prince Fielder to a two year, $18 million deal that will bring the fat man just one year shy of Magical Free Agency. This is a good deal all around, except for the arbitration judge who now has an entire block of time completely wiped off his calendar next week which he'll be forced to spend with his wife.

  • Brandon Lyon and Tigers On Verge of Putting Their Heads Together: The Detroit Tigers are doing their best to shore up a shoddy bullpen, allegedly making a deal with former D-Backs closer Brandon Lyon. Like the Arizona offense, he started 2008 off strong and then fizzled, eventually losing his job to Chad Qualls. The Tigers will make this official as soon as they vet his background and make sure he doesn't own the game "Guitar Hero".

  • Oldest Living Baseball Player Dies: Well Bill Werber's not the oldest living baseball player anymore if he's dead, now is he?

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2 Comments

Magical Free Agency is the worst Disney movie ever. You really expect me to get into a film where Marvin Miller is a Giraffe?

Ned, you shoulda gone with the Brunello di Montalcino.
Stupid.

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