The Dutch Oven: Pass It to the Left Hand Side

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Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us

  • Red Sox Reward Baldheaded, Goateed Gentleman For His Heroic Awesomeness, Grecian Good Looks: The Boston Globe confirmed yesterday that Boston and Kevin Youkilis have agreed to a four-year, $41 million extension that could be worth $53 million if Youk plays his cards right. Wink wink, nudge nudge. You like-a the contract extension? I give you more contract extension.

  • Padres Continue Slow Descent Into Tanking for Another High Draft Pick: Talented young prospects? The Padres don't need 'em! San Diego has signed free agent David Eckstein to a one-year deal worth some amount of money. In exchange, Eckstein will be allowed to play second base. Wait, the Padres are paying Eckstein? I thought it would be the other way around, sort of a Fantasy Sports Camp.

  • Owners Wisely Agree to Amend Playoff Rules, Fail To Agree on Existential Point of Ziggy Cartoon: First, the owners got rid of the coin-flip that decided home field advantage for tiebreaking playoff games. Good move. Then, the owners voted to ensure that every postseason game is played out to the full nine innings, regardless of weather, act of God, or escaped livestock on the field. Also a good move. Then they decided to go out and see Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Bad move.

  • Local Laboratory Looted by Licensed Lawmen: The Champaign, Illinois headquarters of Ergopharm, the company that produced the 6-OXO supplement that got J.C. Romero in hot water, was raided by the feds. The good folks at the Drug Enforcement Agency served a warrant, took some delicious looking pills hostage, overturned bunsen burners and glass beakers, and made no arrests.

  • Michael Young Accepts Fate, Moves to Third Base: Texas shortstop Mike Young backed off his trade request, nay, demand! and will put his little tail between his leg as he shifts about 30 or so feet to his right. This frees up space for little Elvis Andrus, who will have the pressure of a thousand rhinoceroses on his shoulders as he takes over for the Gold Glove-winning...ha hahah...shorstop.

  • Your List of Players Whose Teams Decided Arbitration Would Be Messy: Brewers P Dave Bush, Rangers P Brandon McCarthy, Rays RP Grant Balfour. That's it. Everyone else is going to fight it out.

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