Why the dutch oven? Because the term 'hot stove' needs to be retired. This feature will attempt to give you a listicle-driven source for all sorts of off-season baseball rumors. If you have any suggestions, rumors, or recipes that I can cook in my dutch oven, email us.- Cubs Sign Milton Bradley To Scare Bleacher Bums: This 3 yr $30M Deal beefs up the middle of the Wrigley order and gives it some much needed street cred. Apparently the Tribune didn't take my advice to just look past the man's outbursts and into his soul and/or OPS.
- Pat Burrell To Join Thousands of Retired Wrestlers and Blue Wig Aficionados In Tampa: The Rays finally made their much rumored "veteran slugger" acquisition by signing Pat "The Dick" Burrell to a 2 year $16 million deal. If he can continue putting up his eerily identical numbers of the past few seasons, $8M seems like an unmitigated steal in this market.
- JC Romero suspended 50 Games For Ingestion Of Clif Bar Or St. John's Wort Or Some Crap Like That: The Phils' setup dude was told last season that the over the counter supplement he bought at a US health food store (I'm thinking it was this one) was legal by the Players' Association. Oops! Gonna cost him $1.25M.
- What Would Spring Be Without Brian Roberts Trade Rumors That Never Happen: Last year he was supposed to go to the Cubs for Mark DeRosa or something. This year he's supposed to go to the White Sox for Gavin Floyd. Next year it'll be the Bulls for Andres Nocioni and the year after that, to Cheap Trick for Rick Neilsen. Don't give yourself away!
If the Players Association leads a player astray, what resources can a player use to defend his innocent ass? Jackie Chiles?
Relentless Roberts Rumors Resemble Rascally Rabbit by Reason of Repeated Reticence to Relinquish; Rankle Relatively Reputable Recreation Reporters
Where's the Carl Pohlad obit? I guess the creamation oven would be more appropriate
Southpaw Scapegoat Surrenders Salary to Soporific Selig, Sees Season Slip
That Romero suspension really chaps my ass. The Player's Association can go scratch as far as I'm concerned.
J.C. Romero has gotten the worst bum rap in the history of J.C.s. Or at least among J.C.s who sculpt their eyebrows.
Players Association Causes Player To Fail...
I'm no good at this alliteration thing.