Tonight's Questions

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Hey kids, I don't wanna stay at your party.

  • IS 2009 the year of the woman in baseball? Probably not, but I'm glad they're letting Logan Young tryout for her high school baseball team. If she's good enough she'll make it. She can't be any smaller than Dustin Pedroia.

  • WHO will be first pick in your fantasy gardening league? I already have a name for my team. The Lyle Azaleas.

  • HAVE you seen any of the MLB Network? I've heard good things from Donkey Time, UU and Rob, but haven't yet caught a glimpse. Other people seem excited too.

  • HOW long do you say "Happy New Year" to people? I usually give it about 3 weeks if I'm talking to people for the first time. Lobster Baby takes the sash off around the same time.

  • SHOULD there really still be a debate about Joba's role on the Yankees? No. Kepner has it right.

It's good to be back. We'll see you all back here tomorrow. Same WoW channel.

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What I've learned so far in 2009:

* "CTC" is dead.
* Lobster Baby lives.
* A stupid joke about a hypothetical fantasy gardening league is all it takes to make me LOL.

Mrs. Ichiros watched the latter innings of Larsen's perfect game with me on MLBTV, and declared it "pretty cool that they're gonna show baseball all the time."

It felt like new love all over again.

My only critique of the MLBN? Not enough Snuggie ads.

I hear when you're on that cayenne pepper diet the CTC is the first thing to go.

Roasting a whole chicken for the first time tonight. Any helpful hints?


When seasoning the bird, be sure to get inside the cavity. Be liberal with the olive oil, too.

Let the double entendres begin!


Good tip on the cavity. Was thinking of basting with butter instead of Olive Oil, any thoughts?

Oh yeah:

Won't be the first time I used Olive Oil to get inside a cavity.

Wahoo, before you salt and pepper the bird, pat it dry with paper towels. The skin will crisp up better if it's dry before you baste it with the butter or oil.


Bummer, I missed you by minutes. Did not pat, did baste inside and out with a little butter, a little Olive Oil, and lots and lots of hand ground sea salt.

Baste with oil, not butter. Butter has more solid fats, hence burns easier.

Shove a bundle of crap inside the cavity like lemons and herbs. Or my favorite: a Snickers Bar smothered with hogfat. This will make the chicken tasty AND healthy.

Turn your oven up to 475, preheat your cast iron pan, and nuke that chicken like it started WWII.

Re smoke points, it depends on the oil. Extra virgin olive oil has a smoke point just 15 degrees above butter. If you're only roasting in the oven, you should be fine with either; if you're going with Rob's Nagasaki Method, then something else is in order.

I set off my smoke alarm about once a week.

Last time I took Iracane's advice I rode the subway back from Coney Island with no pants on.

Also, get a small, high-quality bird. Anything higher than four pounds has had more steroids pumped through it than Rafael Palmeiro's left buttcheek.

Sorry for not getting to you in time about the butter/olive oil dilemma. I have only ever used olive oil. How'd you make out?

Went 50/50 on butter and oil. Breast skin is a little dark so butter was probably a mistake.

The breast cooks faster than the rest of the bird anyway. Some people cover the breasts with aluminum foil for the first 10-15 minutes of the cooking to even that out.

Roasting a chicken is something that intimidates people, but once you get the hang of it you'll realize it's not that difficult. A great skill to have and it's a cheap meal.

As for the white meat cooking faster than the dark (I know you were talking more about the skin, but...), you can butterfly or splay the chicken really easily by cutting out the backbone and cracking the thing open. Just lay it flat and put in the pan. It will cook much more evenly.

Penny-pinching, Possibly Pernicious Pohlad Pays the Piper:

I once covered the breast of a roast chicken with bacon to prevent it from cooking too fast. It was ok. Not as good as it sounds.


Great success, my American friends. Thanks for all the tips. I just ate some delicious, juicy chicken, and tOSU is still in it towards the end of the 1st Quarter.

CTC, are you doing Master Cleanse?! Why??

Detox. I'm trying to get rid of all my impacted feces. John Wayne had 15 pounds in him when he died.

When is the colonic irrigation?

No irrigation. I'm doing the salt water flush. My crap this morning smelled like someone opened a mummy's tomb. Who knows how long that stuff was in me.

You know what, I think I liked it better when my comments were posted under "CTC."

So when you die from this weird diet, can I have your beard?

Also, I am 90% sure we are getting Giambi back. I better untie the bobblehead of him that has been hanging from a noose in my closet for 8 years, so I can throw it at him on opening day.

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