Baseball Before Bedtime: You Don't Know My Mind

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Here's what happened in baseball while you were walkin' down the levy:

Diamondbacks 15, Indians 9: It's true, the ball carries further in Goodyear. Just ask Tomo Ohka, who gave up seven hits and six runs in just one inning of pitching as the Indians fell for the second day in a row. It's not all bad news; young prospect Matt LaPorta smacked his first ding-dong of the year while Grady Sizemore and Mark DeRosa continued to hit well.

Cubs 7, Brewers 4: Starting pitcher Seth McClung and the rest of the Brewers hurlers had the control of a fat girl at a soda stand, allowing eleven base-on-balls through eight innings of work in a loss to the Cubbies. The Brewers also committed two errors and accidentally caused a tear in the space-time continuum. Says new Milwaukee manager Ken Macha, "If this was the regular season, you'd call this a 'giveaway' game." But it's the spring, so you just call it 'browning the bed'.

Mets 9, Marlins 0: Mets manager Jerry Tranuel tried to distract his team from a possible injury to frontline starter Johan Santana by staging a fake incident that purportedly ended with a cracked windshield to his prized Cadillac. No word on whether Kris' Grand Marquis escaped unscathed. Oh, and Jose Reyes smacked two tater tots including a king dong, while Oliver Perez hurled two scoreless frames.

Yankees 5, Rays 1: Tampa collected just five singles against a Yankees pitching gang that included the two Phils, Hughes and Coke. Meanwhile, Jorge Posada homered and A-Rod's pseudo-cousin was banned from Steinbrenner Field. Of course this is news. One time my cousin was banned from attending my Little League games because she was selling macrame out of the concession shack, so I sympathize.

Pirates 3, Red Sox 2: The Red Sox took a 2-0 lead into the ninth but Pedro Alvarez and his Pittsburgh mates overcame the deficit to notch a 3-2 win. Alvarez doubled to drive in the first run and eventually scored the winning run after Boston shortstop Argenis Diaz had an oopsie-doodle. Ian Snell's otherwise fine start was marred by two unearned runs created by shortstop Brian Bixler's error. I know it's early and these kids are young, but folks be playin' some sloppy baseball.

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This Godfather reference is a bit of a stretch.

Cubs/Brewers recap = funniest recap of the year (so far)

-brown nosing

ps: Kenny Powers doesnt brown-nose

"You're Fucking Out! I'm Fucking In!" - KP

KP, you can bet that this will be the funniest recap of the year. It's all downhill from Spring Training.

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