Baseball Players Victimized By Juiced Up Poultry

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You don't have to have read Fast Food Nation or be in the Michael Pollan fan club to understand that the meat you're eating from factory farms isn't exactly pure. Steroids, antibiotics, chemicals, minerals and other pharmaceuticals are often pumped into birds to increase the meat yield and counteract the cramped and lethargic lives of factory birds.

One of the steroids used in the chicken is an old A-Rod favorite, Primobolan, and according to Gourmet Magazine, eating chickens treated with the drug could cause someone to test positive for it themselves.

In addition to being taken by sluggers hoping to improve their batting averages, methenolone (sold under the trade name Primobolan), is administered to livestock to promote growth.

Gourmet's James Rodewald, who worked for Sports Illustrated before finding his true calling as a spirits editor (I'll leave it to you to determine what that has to do with his knowledge of performance-altering substances), brought my attention to a study conducted by researchers at Kings College London. The British scientists analyzed urine from eight men who had eaten chicken injected with the drug and found that half the subjects tested positive for methenolone 24 hours after dining. "Hence, eating meat containing small amounts of injected hormone may constitute a serious liability to the athlete," concluded the scientists.

J. Peterman would be shocked. How much better would that Gammons interview have been if Rodriguez had sat down and admitted to having a terrible chicken habit while in Texas? "I would just consume buckets and buckets of wings and thighs, Peter. I was young, dumb and full of fowl."

This was a major concern in Bejing last year where one chef said he saw half chicken breasts "large enough to feed a family of eight." Feeding those to an olympic athlete would have absolutely caused them to test positive. The cases aren't that extreme in the US but still exist. According to those party animals at the National Chicken Council use of steroids in chickens is illegal in the United States, but I'm pretty sure if there were drugs that baseball tests couldn't find, the USDA suffers from the same fallibility.

You're gonna tell me the bird in that picture up there isn't on anything?

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off topic: Cookies Abreu signs with the Angels

As a guy who eats lots and lots of poppy bagels I sympathize.

I just hate the way that the media is constantly bird-dogging athletes, looking for anything to peck at. It's a dangerous game of chicken, and that doesn't fly with me. BOK BOK BOK.

Fredbird has been on Mascot Enhancement Drugs for years. Just look at his "About me" on his Myspace page.

QUOTE: My appearance has gone through many changes over the last 27 years. (Did you know I used to have feathers?)

Case closed.

This was a major concern in Bejing last year where one chef said he saw half chicken breasts "large enough to feed a family of eight."

Someone needs to send Nadya Suleman to China

I knew Kenny Rogers was on something!

This is worse than the time I got bird flu from eating that plateful of Oriole Parmigiano.

I'll buy into Kris' hypothesis if and when Rick Dees writes a novelty song about it.

also off topic: you can now sign up for fantasy baseball over at yahoo

That's why the Cards only use free-range Pujols.

It's true! You are what you eat.

And A-Rod is kind of a dick.


Dr. Lingerie
Michael Pollan Fan Club

But Doc, can't I eat corn with my steak? It's so fucking good in the summer.

That can't be good for business

That's not going to be good for anybody.

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