Bud Selig, You Sanctimonious Coward

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Shoulder-shruggin' baseball commissioner Bud Selig told USA Today Wednesday afternoon that he is "heartsick" about Alex Rodriguez' latest steroid admission and that he is not ruling out punishing A-Rod or adjusting the MLB record books.

When asked in a telephone interview if he would consider suspending Rodriguez, Selig recalled that he "had put a bulletin out" about the illegality of steroid use in 1997, even though MLB had no drug testing at that time. Rodriguez tested positive in 2003, according to Sports Illustrated, and now has admitted to ESPN that he used performance-enhancing drugs from 2001-2003.

"It was against the law, so I would have to think about that," Selig said of possible action against Rodriguez. "It's very hard. I've got to think about all that kind of stuff."

Asked if he would consider reinstating Henry Aaron as baseball's home-run king and adding an asterisk or some other notation to the statistics of Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez and others involved in baseball's steroid controversy, Selig said that he might.

"Once you start tinkering, you can create more problems," he said. "But I'm not dismissing it. I'm concerned. I'd like to get some more evidence."

Wait a minute. Hold the phone. Bud Selig's reign of terror started in 1992, just before the dawn of the steroid era. For years, players were injecting PEDs into each other's butt cheeks and growing ridiculously large heads. This was not going on behind Bud's back, obviously. And what did Bud Selig and the rest of the owners cabal do about it? ISSUE A BULLETIN? No, Bud, that was not the time to issue a bulletin. My condo association issues a bulletin when a bear is sighted on the property. The local elementary school issues a bulletin when a mysterious white van is spotted driving slowly around the parking lot. But when up to 50% of your employees are engaged in illegal activities that just happen to make their performance better and are increasing gate receipts you don't just issue a bulletin and wash your hands of the problem, you get on your horse and you rein this nonsense in.

And now that baseball's most notable records have fallen by the wayside, you think you can simply scrub away the accomplishments of players who were tainted by steroid accusations, and punish your employees for breaking a rule that didn't exist at the time? You're a coward, Selig. When history writes your obituary, it will remember you as the weak-minded used car dealer who stuck his head in the sand when an environment was created that encouraged players to take steroids, and then years later threw his hands up the air and became a sanctimonious chicken.


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14 Comments

"became a sanctimonious chicken..."

Again with steroids and chicken. This is really becoming an issue.

I'm concerned. I'd like to get some more evidence

So concerned that you turned a blind eye to it. And still tried to fight the Mitchell report. And what more evidence would he need, Alex admitted to using.

There is nothing that can be done, MLB let this happen, and you can't single out players, no one really knows who was or wasn't using and like any player would just come out and admit to it.

Bud does have a knack for doing and saying the most retarded thing he can think of, which is almost impressive

Seriously, this guy deserves a Louisville Slugger enema. What a hypocritical piece of shit.

Is that real poncho, or is that a Sears poncho?

His response to Christine Brennan's questions were positively Clintonian in their wishy-washiness.

"Well no, Christine, before I make a decision either way, let me sit on the fence for awhile and gauge the public reaction to my lunatic statements."

Can't we just draft former Negro League players or something to make this go away?

Bud Selig is so clueless, he makes Michael Scott look like Bill Gates.

Boom, roasted.

Oh Bud,

It's no big sin to stick your two cents in
If you know when to leave it alone
But you went over the line
You couldn't see it was time to go home
No, no, no, no, no, no

Why'd you have to be a big shot, Bud?

There's only one man who can clean up this mess: George W. Bush.

Bud, a shitty beer and a shitty commissioner.

Boom, roasted.

Sanctimonious Chicken would be a great fantasy baseball team name

Bud, you're as slick as your poncho. And as twisted.

@Kris - Look here, brother, who you jivin' with that cosmik debris?

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