Children Are Obviously Not Fat Enough Nowadays

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Via the inimitable Was Watching blog:

As part of a first-of-its-kind promotion, the Lakewood BlueClaws and Trenton Thunder have announced all children will eat for free at every 2009 home game.

"We want to bring some joy back to Jersey," said Joe Finley, President of both ballclubs. "Our teams are an important part of their respective communities, and this is our way of helping everyone in both areas."

We're in a recession, y'all, and it seems the only way for minor league ballclubs to attract families to the ballparks in Central Jersey is to promise them to stuff their already fat kids' mouths full of unhealthy ballpark food. Every snotty kid that shows up to these games gets a voucher for a trans-fat-laden hot dog, a bag of greasy potato chips, and a high-caloric, corn syrupy cup of soda. This is progress?

(picture credit to msmail)

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I think I may have hit on her at a Brooklyn Cyclones game.

that picture is easily the saddest thing I will see all day.

What we don't see is the kid's head exploding from brain freeze five minutes later.

This promotion is still better than the failed "Kids Clean the Ballpark For Food" promotion.


Minor Leagues? F that, the Jake has several Dollar Sugardale Hot Dog nights during the season. I'm good for a dozen washed down with as many beers.

BTW, after doing that I've taken dumps bigger than that kid.

Why isn't Heath Bell in uniform?

hot dog, bag of potato chips and a 12 oz. fountain soda probably cost 25 cents total. Cut ticket prices in half and I'll be impressed.

Also, rumor has it that the winner of the fantasy baseball league will receive a free hot dog, bag of potato chips and a 12 oz. fountain soda.

You think you can hide behind a little black mark, Kelly Clarkson? I see you there.

We want to bring some joy back to Jersey

1. Then open up an In-N-Out. That'll get people happy AND make kids fat(ter).

2. Give me a check for $1M. I live in Jersey, and that would make me joyous. Hell, I'd settle for a couple hundred bucks and a coupon to five Guys.

3. Try to brighten up the area around Waterfront Park. Everyone knows that Trenton is the saddest place on earth. The city's motto is, no joke, "Trenton makes, the world takes." :-(

You think that picture is horrific, I should post a picture of myself inhaling a gyro right now.

Richard Simmons is rolling in his grave.


But he's rolling to the silky sounds of the Duprees, so he's actually enjoying himself.