Corey Patterson Confesses His Sins, Atones for Hitting Leadoff

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Our patron saint of low on-base percentages enters the confessional on Saturday in Viera, Florida to atone for his sins of hitting leadoff despite a wild inability to draw walks. Bless him, Dusty, for he has sinned. I wonder what his penance was.

(Picture stolen from the Nationals photo day slideshow at

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Corey was told to say 10 Hail Marys. He only said 2 and a third.

A lead-off hitter with a batting average near the Mendoza Line makes the pontiff frown. His penance is gonna be BRUTAL...

I hope he confessed to trying to make bedroom eyes in the confessional. God is not amused, Corey.

So the a rabbi, the pope and Raquel Welch are out on a boat...


Corey just strikes out for the jokes.

Are you an anti Patterite?

We all know that Corey Patterson didn't walk into a bar. He didn't single or double into one either.

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