The 2001 Texas Rangers

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A-Rod is coming clean about his PED use on ESPN tonight . Says he was "young" "stupid" and "naive." He basically chalks it up to "experimentation" like all people do when talking about drug use in their younger days.

But hey, that 2001 Rangers roster is to steroid experimentation what the crowd at a Disco Biscuits concert is to shrooms, acid and fish tranquilizers. So let's make up clever nicknames now and never bring it up again. Like when your parents catch you "experimenting" with cigarettes and make you smoke a whole carton.

  • Ivan Roidriguez
  • Rafael Roidmeiro
  • Alex Roidriguez
  • Ken Camisteroidniti
  • Kenny Roidgers
  • Gabe "Steroids" Kapler
  • Roidben Sierra
  • Roid Helling
  • Frank Cattalaroido
  • Darren Oliveroid
  • Roidy Velarde
  • Michael "I LOVE AMPHETAMINES!" Young
  • Pat Mahomes

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19 Comments

And the team theme song was Steroid to Heaven

Rick HGHelling

"Rusty Needles" Greer and Juan MORE-steroids-NO-problemo just wanted to be included. Pat "I keep masteroids at" Maholmes just thought he was taking Flintstones chewables.

I see you already covered Mahomes. And you spelled it correctly. You win this round, Liakos.

Johnny "Look What Steroids Did to Me" Oates

In the spirit of a 5th grade project:

Team Bird: Roidrunner
Team Motto: The Crossroids of America
State Flower: Kentucky Goldenroid
Team Capitol: Little Roid
Team Exports: Steroids, Ball Bearings, Steroids.

This is what this looks like when you do it unironically:

http://homerderby.com/archives/3573

Just wait until Liakos ghostwrites A-Rod's book: "Young, Naive and Stupid: the Story of a Ballplayer." It'll be the best thing since "Vindicated."

BREAKING: I am looking for the rights to ghostwrite "Mahomes on Mahomes."

I think now is the appropriate time to admit, that occasionally, I have commented under the influence of comment inhancing drugs.

That shrimp is awesome.

Ricky "I start my new cycle..." Ledee "...after tomorrow".

You guys need office space?

Asterisk-Rod???

Okay, Jiegel, that's the gayest thing I've ever seen.

Cardinals release Adam Kennedy

Tryouts to be held at local high school.

Ricky LePED?

You can be "young," "stupid," "naive" and engage in "experimentation" until you're 40. That's the Texas Rangers way.

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