Hey kids, that's just the way we get by.
- WON'T you join me in wishing our own Kris Liakos a happy birthday? He's a virile 27 today, but years of drinking and hard living have aged his body like a healthy 8,255-year-old.
- WHAT the heck is Joe Crede doing asking for $7 million in salary this year? Ty Wigginton is only getting $3 million and he can actually hit.
- WHEN is Bobby Abreu gonna get a job? If he only makes a Wigginton-esque $3 million this season, I'm going to start a bake sale to raise money for the guy.
- DO you really think the Yankees will allow but 673 runs this season and lead the majors? Sure, they have the best rotation in baseball, but their defense is stinkeroo. And hey, the Orioles scoring 5.3 runs per game? That's an absolutely Liakosian prediction.
- ARE you gonna watch that A-Rod/Peter Gammons interview tonight? I will. Heck, I can't remember the last time SportsCenter was appointment viewing for me. Probably college, which is why I can't remember it.
That's all the fun we have for you today (/turns pockets inside out, lint falls out). Please join us tomorrow, where we'll compare the players in the latest steroid scandal to characters in Henry James' 1877 novel, The Portrait of a Lady.