What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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What you think just because I'm all up in locker rooms this week talkin' to players I'm going to go easy on all the wimps in the league? No way. None of these guys actually read us. Once they start I'm discontinuing this feature.

  • Kerry Wood, Indians: Who guessed "before the damn season even started" for when Mark Shapiro would begin to doubt Carl Pavano and Kerry Wood as his two key offseason acquisitions? It's not a major injury but any time one of these guys shows up on Creampuff (this time it's Wood's back) Shapiro is going to gulp.

  • Boof Bonser, Twins: Boof and his agent are hotter then a two dollar pistol about those knuckleheads in the Twins organization waiting until now to recommend surgery for the pitcher. It's a year long rehab! If you guys had seen this coming a year ago he'd be ready by now! Oh wait he was pitching a year ago. And feeling great.

  • Alfredo Amezaga, Marlins: Scheduled to play in the WBC, AA "tweaked his knee" which I think means that his knee is addicted to meth. First it destroys our small towns and rural communities, then it comes for our joints. It's a disease, people.

  • Vernon Wells, Blue Jays: Wells strained his left hamstring and will probably miss a couple of weeks. Wells said that when he had this injury last year he was able to start hitting pretty soon afterwards. Is that supposed to make people feel better?

  • Ryan Feierabend, Mariners: Ligament damage in his pitching arm spells season ending Ryan Feierabend Surgery for Ryan Feierabend.

  • Milton Bradley, Cubs: Bradley left his exhibition game against the Brewers yesterday with tightness in his quad. Milton explained it by saying "when you work out hard you get tight." Everytime I work out hard I just get thrown out of the YMCA. I should start wearing looser shorts.

  • Grady Sizemore, Indians: Sizemore is pulling out of the WBC with a strained groin. This is not good for the USA's Classic chances, since the only other CFs on the roster are Willie Mays and Super Dave Osborne.

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I remember Super Dave Osborne sitting down for one of his regular Letterman appearances (this was many years ago), and he was promoting his book for little leaguers. All I remember is "Chapter 6: Swing for the Fences".

Grady done strained his dick

So none of these players read this blog, but Shapiro does? I see we're going for the strictly upper-management types, and not the hoi polloi.

Super Dave Osborne and his brother Albert Brooks are certainly no Einsteins. Oh wait. Shit.

My fantasy team is so fucked.

If those were the guys on your fanasy team (other than Sizemore), I would say your team was fucked to begin with.

At least nobody was raped by a wallaby this we...AUUUGHHH!

/gets raped by a wallaby

Never trust a Boof.

@ bc twins fan
But Kerry Wood was going to have another breakdown, ugh, i mean breakout year.

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