Aaron Boone is Out with a Heart

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It's a sad day in Houston, as Astros third baseman Aaron Boone addressed a press conference to announce that he'd have open heart surgery because of a pre-existing condition involving his bicuspid aortic valve. I'm only a Doctor of Blog Title Alliteration, not a Doctor of Medicine, so I have no idea what that means. However, it's obviously a far more serious condition than Ryan Braun's silly intercostal sprain, which totally sounds made up. Get over yourself, Braun! Aaron's got a faulty aortic valve!

This won't be emergency surgery, but it's enough to end Boone's season and most likely, his career. If you thought things couldn't get more difficult for the third worst organization in baseball, think again: their biggest offseason acquisition was Pudge, the Pedro rumours were false, and now Geoff Blum is now your everyday third baseman. Says Aaron:

"I have been diagnosed with a heart condition involving my aorta and aortic valve," he said. "I'll need surgery to correct the problem. Initially my doctors thought I could delay corrective surgery for some time, but because of some variations in my condition, they are now advising me to deal with the problem sooner rather than later.

"Am I going to recover well enough to play baseball again? Probably. Will I play baseball again? I don't know at this time. We'll cross that bridge when I get there."

Here's hoping that Boone has a successful surgery, recovers quickly, and rejoins the Astros in 2011 to see them finish in sixth place for a third consecutive season.

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You see, "bi" means two and "cuspid" means mythical cherub of love. Therefore, Boone is going to see the Wizard of Oz.

/get well soon, Red Sox killer.

Oh, no glog today dudes and dudettes. ME SO SOLLY

"Bleepin" Boone's Bad Break: Boston-Bedeviling Basetender Books Bypass

Matt Cerrone is live-glogging the Mets game on Twitter.

In the Astros defense, their community affairs people were very quick to respond to my recent inquiry. So, they got that going for them.

Who's the broad that broke his heart?

"Rumours," huh? How did the UK team do in the WBC this year?

"Rumours," huh? How did the UK team do in the WBC this year?

If you don't love the WBC now, you will never love it again.

When I hear "bicuspid aortic valve," it makes me think that Boone has teeth in his heart. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

Aaron Boone's still alive?

You know who has heart? The Desert Inn.

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