Baseball Before Bedtime: House of Cards

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Here's what happened in baseball yesterday while you threw your keys in their bowl:

Venezuela 5, United States 3: Derek Jeter reached base four times but was thrown out attempting to swipe second base in the ninth inning; Kevin Youkilis' strikeout at the hands of Frankie Rodriguez sealed the deal and Venezuela wins the pool. The brothers Blanco provided the offensive firepower, combining for six hits, two runs, and two RBI; catcher Henry fell a single shy of the cycle. Jeremy Guthrie takes the loss, allowing four runs in two innings. The USA will face Puerto Rico, the top seed from Pool D, this Saturday night in Miami, while Venezuela gets the Netherlands.

Braves 12, Phillies 10: Kyle Kendrick could really use a gallon of Pepto Bismol about now. Kid gave up eight runs and ten hits in an absolute drubbing by the division rival Braves, including two 2-run happy jacks by Clint "Don't Call Me Simmons" Sammons. Carlos Carrasco was seen doing a gleeful jig in the clubhouse as Kendrick got shelled. Jo-Jo Reyes gave up two runs in four innings and picked up the W, while Phillies third baseman Jason Donald went 3-for-4.

White Sox 6, Brewers 2: Mark Buehrle avoided any T-Rex attacks and threw three scoreless innings against a hapless Brewers team. Youngster Gordon Beckham laced a two-run double that would have been an easy out had it not fallen out of Trot Nixon's glove. Jim Thome has a creaky back and was scratched. Well, he was scratched, not his back.

Tigers 7, Yankees 4: The Yanks gave Justin Verlander the ol' heave-ho, chasing him for four runs on four walks and a few hits in two innings. Later, Gary Sheffield chased CC Sabathia by taking him deep deeper and gone. Sabathia gave us five runs in under two innings and later told everyone he hasn't found his cutter yet. Hey CC, check under the ENORMOUS PILES OF MONEY IN YOUR CAR TRUNK.

Cardinals 8, Marlins 4: Skip Schumaker made his fourth error at second base this spring, putting the temporary brakes on the whole "Make Skip Schumaker a Second Baseman" experiment. No, it's too late, Tony La Russa. You can't have Adam Kennedy OR David Eckstein back.

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If he doesn't find it soon, CC's cutter is going to be a guy named Jimmy the Shark from Staten Island

I told you not to sleep on Hank White and his fan club.

Verlanderlay and Smokey claim he was just working out a tweak with the mechanics and they are happy with his two innings.

As an aside, this Flavor-Aid tastes funny...

The great thing about the Yanks signing CC is that he's reliably awful for the first month or so. The fans are going to destroy him like the obnoxious pricks they are. Present company excluded, of course.

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