Baseball Before Bedtime: Postmark My Compass

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Here's what happened in baseball while I was writing songs for you.

Cubs 13, Rockies 9: Familiar names Alfonso Soriano, Milton Bradley, Derek Lee and Aramis Ramirez knocked in some runs and Greg Smith got the start for the Cubs, even though he had explosive diarrhea all week, and won't be in the Cubs rotation when the season begins.

Yankees 7, Red Sox 1: The only spring game that really matter bro . Tim Wakefield only allowed 1 run in 5 2/3 innings, ensuring he'll be in the rotation long enough to keep some promising young arm in Pawtucket and blow a big game late in the season. AJ Burnett posted an identical 1 ER in 5 2/3 ensuring that his arms is gonna catch on fire. Austin Jackson had a King Dong in the 8th.

Phillies 7, Blue Jays 6: Chase Utley hit a tater dong proving that his hip is once again strong enough for some horseplay with Clare. Chan Ho Park struck out 7 in 4 innings as he bids to grab the 5th start in the Phillies rotation.

Giants 7, Diamondbacks 3: Matt Cain worked himself out of a couple jams and Emmanuel Burriss had 3 RBI for the Giants. That fruit Eric Byrnes had two hits as he continues to recover from two torn hamstrings and a sub-literate IQ.

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The Phillies won a pennant in my lifetime and I have become a meme. I can die happy now.

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