Curt Schilling Retired To Make A Video Game

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Maybe this is old news, but not to me. I haven't read a Nintendo power since Steve Meli used to give me his back issues in 4th grade. Anyway, Curt Schilling is using his time away from baseball to try and ascend to the lofty throne of Dork King by creating his own video game. A baseball game? Like that one Cal Ripken is involved with? No way dude. Schilling is into that Wizard stuff. His new game is called Copernicus, and here's an interview about it which may as well be in Klingon.

"I lived my life in reverse," he commented. "I spent the first half of my life retired," speaking about how he viewed baseball as what he would have done for fun,"and then 20 years later went to work," referring to the fact that he now has a "real job" -- or something much closer to one, anyway. He claims that he still loves what he does so much that he comes in to work at 7:00 AM because he's so eager to get started on the day. That said, he also realized that working on games is not what he thought it would be like. "I wanted to just design games, but that's not really what I get to do. It's a lot of management."

So can he beat WoW? "That's only the legitimate question if that's the goal," he commented -- which it's not. "I think there's plenty of room to innovate, especially in terms of storytelling." He's confident he can, in his words, create an "industry disrupting product," but it's a lot of pressure on his shoulders right now. "I often wonder, what the hell was I thinking? Why didn't I just make an FPS?"

Hell no, he can't beat WoW. We have a shrimp on a treadmill and an intern. Of course I jest, I think he's talking about that other WoW, the video game World Of Warcraft which Schilling is famous for playing. I don't know what FPS is, but I think it's pronounced "fips."

Although this has "vanity project money pit" written all over it, maybe it will work. I know even less about the video game business than I do about baseball. But he seems to know what he's talking about so maybe Curt Schilling Wizard Games will be the George Foreman Grill of Wizard Games. In any case he seems to have done things in the right order. Proving you're a tough guy athlete before you tell people you're way into video games prevents many unfortunate wedgies.

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Curt Schilling has enormous FPS, like a pregnant woman.

Fred Savage was such a perv that he got a special left-handed Power Glove made just for the cheap thrills of "The Virtual Reality Stranger."

Schilling is way to close to Jenny Lewis.


"Wizard" was perhaps the best of the FORTRAN-based John Hughes films.

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