Hard Hitting, Hog Hunting Hot Corner Hero Hanging At Home

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That orca's getting a workout today. The Braves have signed 3B and Face O' The Franchise, Larry Wayne Jones to a three year contract extension. Financial terms were not disclosed but Bass Pro Shops stock (BAS) just went through the roof. Or tree stand, whatever the proper metaphor is.

Lord knows, Chipper wasn't the happiest dude this offseason after the Braves let Smoltzy walk and he doubted the team's commitment to the 2009 season. But the guy seems pretty loyal and a wave of optimism was definitely palpable in Braves camp. Looks like Ol' Chip wants in on it.

GO SHOOT THAT ORCA WITH A CROSSBOW.


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8 Comments

Best news I've heard in a while.

CONGRATUMALATIONS CHIPPER JONES ON YOUR NEW MONEY DEAL. YOU MAKE US COMPUTER INTERNET LOOSERS PROUD WITH YOUR 400 CHASES AND YOU'RE TATER TOTS AND HAPPY JACKS AND YOU EVERYDAY PLAYINGITUDE.

YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS GOATING ME INTO POSTING SO HERE GOES

I WANT TO CONGRATULATE THE BRAVES ON MAKING A SMART MOVE THEY ARE SOME COOL CUCUMBERS AT THE BARGAINING TABLE THATS FOR SURE BUT IN THE END I THINK WE ALL WIN THIS IS A GREAT DEAL FOR THE TEAM AND THE FANS AND THE CITY BUT MOSTLY ME. IM NOT SURE IF ANY OF YOU CAN DO THE MATH BUT I STAND TO SEE OVER 40 MILLION CLAMS FROM THIS DEAL WHICH MEANS THAT THE OLD BOY CAN FINALLY AFFORD THAT PLACE IN WESTERN KENTUCKY THAT I HAVE SEEN IN MY DREAMS OF COURSE NONE OF YOU WOULD BE INVITED BECAUSE WE WONT HAVE WIDE-FI SET UP OR ANYTHING I MEAN ITS A HUNTERS PARADISE NOT SOME FROOFROO COFFEE SHOP FOR YOU TO WORK ON YOUR SCREENPLAY FACE FACTS YOURE A BUNCH OF INTERNET TROLLS AND YOUR MANUSCRIPT JUST ISNT GETTING PICKED UP LET THE DREAM DIE.

AND CATSHIRT DONT THINK YOURE GETTING OFF EASY BECAUSE YOUR PAL JUST GOT FINISHED HAVING A LISTEN TO THIS CRAP THAT YOU RECORDED IN A TREEHOUSE AND YOURE COT DAMNED RIGHT I DONT LIKE YOU I USED TO LIKE YOU BECAUSE I TRIED TO SHOW YOU HOW TO BE A MAN BUT YOU DIDNT LISTEN YOU JUST WENT ABOUT YOUR WAYS AND KEPT MESSING WITH YOUR ORGANIC FRUITS AND WHATNOT. AND I SAW YOU GIGGLING AT ME WHEN YOU DID OUR INTERVIEW BUT I THOUGHT YOU HAD JUST HEARD A FUNNY JOKE ABOUT A PONY OR SOMETHING AND FINALLY YOU COMPLIMENTED ME ON MY CAMO HAT BUT NOW I SEE IT WAS ALL A JOKE AT CHIPS EXPENSE WELL WE WILL SEE WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGHS

IT WILL BE ME IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW BECAUSE I CAN RAKE ON THE FIELD AND I CAN RAKE IN THE DOUGH -WORDPLAY-

What does orca jerky taste like, Chip?

-WORDPLAY-

My day is made.

Thanks for the link, Chipper.

You guys never heard of Dallas Braden? Fucking amateurs. He's probably the best pitcher in the AL West. In Oakland. Not on the DL.

I've heard of him. I've also heard of Johnny Damon playing left.

ORCA JERKY TASTES LIKE SOMEBODY HIT A BASES-CLEARING DOUBLE IN YOUR MOUTH

YOU DECIDE IF THAT IS GOOD OR BAD I DON'T HAVE TIME TO JUDGE YOUR LIKES AND DISLIKES

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