Monday Afternoon Pressbox Liveglog Club: Philles vs. Blue Jays

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Hey kids. I'm here at sunny but windy Dunedin Stadium in quaint Dunedin, FL. Home of the Blue Jays and the $6 Media Lunch. What the hell Blue Jays? Stop being so desperate for American dollars. Anyhow, I just left the Toronto clubhouse where I had conversations with Lyle Overbay, Kevin Millar and Cito Gaston. I interviewed Millar when I was in high school and he was a Marlin. I mostly interviewed him today for closure and to have a look how far I've come life moment. He called me Big Dog. I was also stood up by Doc Halladay. I forgive him though since he is my favorite non Red Sock. And was legitimately busy in the Conditioning Room.

I'll try and put together more than 3 innings for you today. I have lots of stuff to talk about from my weekend trips, but the Phillies only do in-game interviews, so I'll be leaving you every couple of innings as their starters come out. I really wanna interview Ryan Howard. So here we go. World Champion Phillies and Blue Jays. After the jump.

1:05: It's 57 degrees at first pitch. Ricky Romero on the mound for the Blue Jays facing CF Eric Bruntlett of The Phillies. I'd complain about it being windy and only 57 degrees here, but I take it lots of you are reading this from inside a snowbank at the moment.

1:06: Bruntlett walks. There is a really annoying squeaking noise coming from the ceiling. All of the writers in here are freaking out about it. We may have a mutiny. It sounds like David Eckstein is trapped up there.

1:09: Miguel Cairo flies out bringing up newest Philly, Raul Ibanezzzzz. I should probably find you guys some lineups.

1:13: Ibanezzzz is working a 4 minute at bat. The Blue Jays beat writers are unquestionably the chattiest, but unfortunately no Richard Griffin. I wanted tips on the best kind of hooch to drink while writing a column. After Ibanez fouls of 5 balls he gets caught looking bringing up Ryan Howard.

1:17: Howard walks. When I talk to him later I plan on getting the inside scoop on Jared from Subway. That guy has some skeleton's in his closet and I wanna get Ry-Ho's take. Ricky Romero is looking a little wild. John Mayberry Jr. is up. YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ANYONE FORGET ABOUT JOHN MAYBERRY SENIOR.

1:20: Romero walks Mayberry. This is trouble. Most of the Toronto writers aren't here. Not just Griffin. They're all with Team Canada now that they've arrived for the WBC. So if you're scoring at home, Team Canada News > Blue Jays Spring News in Canadia.

1:26: Romero strikes out Pablo Ozuna and Jeremy Slayden to end the inning. With 5 more strikeouts, everyone in the stadium gets a free game of bowling! Pretty generous from the team that made me pay $6 for meatloaf and mac and cheese.

1:28: JA Happ on the mound. Joe Inglett flies out to left. That other guy singles to write and now Adam Lind is up.

1:31: Adam Lind hits a two run tater tot to put the Jays up by one. I apparently missed a run in the first inning. How am I worse at this at the game than I am in an office in a different state. Mystery. Kevin "Big Dog" Millar grounds out to second. Jason Lane just barely avoids a fastball to the taint.

1:34: Lane singles to Center. Some dude named Emaus is up. Rhymes with p... Venus. And his number is 69.

1:35: Emaus walks. Things are not HAPPening for JA. OH ZING! Blue Jays beat writers are actually funny. It's a Christmas miracle. Why are Canadians so funny? Even a notoriously humorless profession like beat writer is full of funnies when they're Canadian. Help me here, Lloyd.

1:38: Brian Dopirak flies out to tend the inning.

1:39: So I went to the Yankees game on Saturday. Well I tried, but my press pass didn't come through. I was rather frustrated and was surrounded by swarms of Yankees fans. Not a good recipe. Some guy walked by me with his wife wearing a thick gold chain andone of these. I told him he had on a ladies hat. He looked pissed. It was time to leave.

1:40: Top of 2, Romero is back. Jason Donald leading off.

1:42: Donald gets on base somehow. Probably a walk. That brings up Ronny Paulino who, despite being a catcher, has been voted "Best Name For A Flyweight Boxer" for 3 straight years. Ouch Romero walks him. That's 6BB for Romero. This isn't fun to watch when a guy is just trying to make the team. This must how be when these writers feel when they have to watch me interview a guy.

1:45: Bruntlett grounds out to the mound. 1 down. THE SQUEAKING CONTINUES.

1:46: That's it for Romero. Cito told me before the game they wanted 3 innings out of him. He only went 1.1, but threw enough pitches for 4. Brett Cecil is in.

1:50: Cecil gets Cairo on a a groundout (guessing again). Did I mention they also had no media parking here so I had to pay $10 for that too? The PA guy pronounced Ibanez (EEEEE-ban-ez). Slow chopper up the middle that'll score the guy on third if he can leg it out... and he can't. Inning over.

1:56: Hey there's two outs! Woops. I wanna see Adam Loewen play. I keep hearing he can really hit and will join Ankiel and that dude I was talking about the other day from Houston as high level pitchers turned outfielders. Inglett steals second base. And you didn't even know he was on first!

1:59: Aaron Hill flies out. I'm kinda tired because coffee wasn't even included with my $6 lunch. Howard is leading off this inning. If it's his last trip out to the field I'm going to leave you all for a little while. I have so many Jared questions.

2:02: Howard flies out against the wall in left. Almost a $5 footlong. One time in college my friend Luke was pretty drunk and went to the sub shop and ordered a "Football Meatlong" instead of a Footlong Meatball. The More You Know.

2:05: Mayberry strikes out bringing up Pablo Ozuna. One time in college my friend Luke was pretty drunk and called him "Ozlo Pabuna." He singles to left center.

2:08: Jeremey Slayden strikes out.

2:11: Welp. The BJ's just had three straight groundouts to make a speedy bottom of the third. Some guy just won a trivia contest on top of the home dugout. The prize? Two slices of pizza! Extravagant! I'd check this fridge to see if there's anything in it but I'm afraid an alarm might go off.

2:15: Some guy behind home plate is heckling the umpire. This must be the only game he's going to go to all year. Ronny Paulino grounds out. That is seriously going to affect his shot at a title. Eric Bruntlett is back up for his third at bat. Someone in the booth is talking about Mrs. Doubtfire. The heckling continues below.

2:19: Cecil walks Bruntlett. At least everyone's getting a lot of work in today.

2:25: It's the top of the 4th now, sorry. Some other guy is in for the Phillies and he's tearing it up. He got P. Eamus to ground out then struck out the guy that hits after him. John McDonald flies out to CF. The contest on the dugout now is who ever can put on a T-Shirt the fastest wins the shirt. Thrilling. That's 4 innings. I'm done dude. Enjoy your day everyone!

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I'd complain about it being windy and only 57 degrees here . . . but I'm too busy tracking down a tiny umbrella for my fruity island drink.

The Fruity Colonel.

That's your new name.

That's the $6 Conditioning Room.

I caught my first foul ball last year at the Dunedin Jays park. I saw the ball coming towards my mother, and I told her to get out of the way. Instead of getting up and moving a few seats down, she did the "Kyle Korver is getting a pony" cringe.

Greg Dobbs hit it and he wouldn't sign it for me. So if you talk to Greg Dobbs, Kris, ask him why he wouldn't sign your loyal reader's baseball?

Greg Dobbs signed a tater tot ball that my brother-in-law caught at CBP but probably because he was legally required to.

Ronnie Dobbs can't be caught, he's slippery

Kris ask themm if anyone has ever scored with the hottt waitresses behind home plate at Rogers.

Checking in from snowy DC: I didn't think they could make the Nats' mascot full of even more nightmare fuel, but holy shit:

The best kind of hooch for liveglogging is clearly Olde English 800.

Lyle Overbay is the Paul Blart of the Blue Jays.

MDT: holy crap that's bad. And somebody got paid to come up with that.
Skinny, no teeth. Meth freak.

Lou Dobbs once caught a Mexican woman at the border using only his bare hands and floppity neck skin. Then he branded her.

@MDT: I guess Screech did Atkins during the off-season.

@MDT: Is that chicken getting mugged or blown? Because that face is only appropriate for those two situations.

@Clare: I think Screech did paint thinner over the off-season.

Trouble with Mayberry? Someone call Andy Griffith


Kris, dude, you ate stadium meatloaf and mac and cheese? You have a brave soul and a stomach made of iron.

I told him he had on a ladies hat. He looked pissed.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Guinea.

I mean...what are you possibly doing that you have no idea what's going on in the game?

That's Brett "FUTURE OF THE FRANCHISE" Cecil. That's what I got from reading Ghostrunner on First.

That Nats mascot will be scolded/comforted in Dog and Beth Chapman's SUV, sometime before the trading deadline.

Luke sounds like he needs an Intervention.

Ozlo Pobuna is great, just smear some guac on it and it's delish.

Second prize was three slices of stadium pizza

Even hecklers have to prepare for the season. He's just gettin in his time before the season starts.

I'm headed down to the middle school to heckle fat kids later to practice for the Umps during the season

Bill Kurtis

Matt, go heckle Dale Murphy's son.

Two slices of pizza would be better for me than the Dominos chicken parm sandwich I had for lunch just one month after I vowed I would never eat one of those things again. Somebody remind me about this nausea I am feeling come April, please.

Rob, you're the only person I know who ate one or more) of those things, and I know a lot of people who will eat a lot of stuff. Did it even taste good, or did you eat it out of a sense of obligation?

The new thin Screech that MDT has shown us is making me want to go put the weight back on.

It was free.

BRETT CECIL IS THE FUTURE OF EVERYTHING. Most people get a rash from reading Ghostrunner on First.

ZOMG! Kris talked to Cito??? That rules, he's my black dad.

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