No, Cecil Cooper, The Astros Will Not Win 90 Games

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Spring is a heady time, isn't it? Every beat writer worth his weight in Splenda makes reference to the optimism of Spring Training, the untouched promise of a virgin schedule and the enthusiasm of new players and newly healthy ones. If all that goes to your head you're liable to do some crazy stuff. It's like hitting the nitrous tank at Bonnaroo. Well consider Astros manager Cecil Cooper fully on the hippie crack. He says the Astros are going to win 90 games this year.

We should win 90 games, without question," Cooper said this morning. "We have a terrific bullpen. We have one of the best closers in the game. We've got the ace in the National League. We've got three of the best offensive players at their position. We've got, if not the best, then one of the top catchers in baseball.

"I mean, c'mon. We've got what it takes. You're telling me we're not going to win that many games?"

Yup. Just told you right up there in the headline. In fact, last week I predicted you'd lose almost 90. And I didn't get a single email telling me I'm dumb. I usually get between 8-10 for every other post I do. So people must be agreeing with me.

I understand you're supposed to go out there and put the best face on the team's season. Being a manager these days involves a modicum of PR. Just look at what happened to Cito Gaston last month when he said the Jays may be in a rebuilding year. Woops! I mean uh... regrouping.

So Cecil, I admire your pluck and the gusto with which you hit the big blunt of baseball hope. But yes. I'm telling you you're not going to win that many games.

(Thanks to BBTF for directing me to the provocatively named Knobler's Blog.)


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6 Comments

A spring training record of 3-16-3 does not translate to 90 regular season wins, no matter how rose-colored your glasses are.

I was unaware we could email Kris when we think his posts are dumb.

Note: Cecil Cooper thinks the Astros are in the Pacific Coast League. And that the season is 250 games.

@Gorge

What do you think my Dad does at work all day?

ILL TELL YOUS RIGHT NOW THAT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR AT LEAST 4 OR 5 NASTY EMAILS TO CAT MAN EVERY DAY. EVEN FOR THE POSTS WHEN THE FRUIT BAT WRITES. I GOTTA KEEP HIM ON HIS TOES YOU KNOW. ALSO ON THE SIDE NICE GREEN SHIRT FRUIT BAT. THATS A REAL FANCY BOY LOOK YOU GOT GOING ON. I BET YOURE TASTING A REAL FANCY MAN MEAL IN THAT PICTURE. PROBABLY SOMETHING THAT HASNT BEEN COOKED ON A HOT PLATE. ARENT YOU JUST THE PIGS TAIL.

ANYWAY I HOPE EVERYONE REMINDS THE CAT SHIRT SUPERSTAR HOW MUCH HE SUCKS FROM TIME TO TIME. BE LIKE OL' CHIPPEROO AND KNOCK TIGER PAW DOWN A PEG OR THREE.

ALSO THE 'STROS WILL NOT WIN VERY MANY GAMES. SO CAMPY TIGER MIGHT BE ON TO SOMETHING.

When I worked in New Orleans we received a six-foot tank of nitrous as a housewarming gift. I made Chipper sound lucid in comparison.

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