USA vs Canada WBC Game Features Rematch of 2006 AL MVP Race

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Turn on your television sets, it's time to watch Team America travel across our northern border to take on Team Canada in the WBC! Derek Jeter looks to avenge both the USA's 2006 WBC loss to their doughy northern neighbors AND his ridiculously unfair second place finish to sham 2006 AL MVP winner Justin Morneau. Your starting pitchers today will be Jake Peavy for the US and Mike Johnson for Canada. Wait, who?

"I wish Mike all the best," said the U.S. starter, the former Cy Young Award winner Jake Peavy. "Is it Mike? Sorry."

Yes, it is Mike Johnson, a 33-year-old right-hander from Edmonton, Alberta, who pitched in 81 games for the Orioles and the Expos from 1997 through 2001. He was 7-14 with a 6.85 earned run average.

Oh right, that Mike Johnson. Nice burn, Peavs. Anyway, if you're looking for some intelligent analysis, don't go to Drunk Jays Fans. But if you're looking for some unbridled jingoism and seal-clubbing YouTube videos, by all means, be my guest.

Enjoy the game today, and if you're rooting for Morneau to do well, you're either Canadian or a terrorist Twins fan who hates freedom. Join us in the comments section!


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58 Comments

Steve Phillips is in love with Hanley Ramirez

Jake Peavy's uniform number would look great in Brave blue.

h8 u rob

1-0. BOOM!

Or Brave red. I'm colourblind.

Lloyd is already streaking nude around the Rogers concourse. Lucky for him, that's legal in Toronto.

This game is a metaphor.

Jerkwheat, what is this a picture of?

http://twitpic.com/1wqsl

I miss the days when we could make exchange rate jokes about the score of a USA-Canada game.

DAMN YOU AND YOUR LOONIES!

WHERE IS THE SON OF GRANDER?!?!

The Captain strokes a dubble!

That is the result of Ryan Howard's foul ball into the press box today. Jason Beck said it flew into an open window and narrowly missed hitting someone. It left a freaking dent WITH SEAMS.

damn right they're pitching around chipper jones

Captains are for hockey. Suck it, Team USA/Red Sox.

Yeah, Steve Phillips, they don't think David Wright is any good. Great analysis.

Chipper DHing? Is that so he can come on here between AB's?

I expect a full explanation from Ol' Chip for why he was made to look so silly by a dirty Canuck.

there MAY be a stunner developing there?

Annnnnnd a team full of American all stars just got humiliated by a washed-up ex-Oriole with mere breaking balls.

Which letter does Lloyd have painted on his chest?

Jeter displayed some yeomanlike form on those simple grounders.

How does Jeter have even Team USA convinced that he should get to play short based on reputation alone?

IT'S THE INTANGIBLES. THE INTANGIBLES, DAMN YOU.

Adam Dunn doesn't care about baseball, right JP?

here comes Dunn to clog up the basepath

They should let him use his intangibles as a rover in the outfield.

This is a rover in the outfield.

YES BRIAN MCCANN

I think i have the international feed, this commentator is awful. He must be Canadan or something.

Dustin Pedroia: MVP and professional rally-killer.

Is his name Jamie Campbell? If so, our nation sympathizes with you.

VOTTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can do it Votto! You can do it Votto!
Hit a tater tot, I'll give you free gelato!
Then back to my place, where I can get you blotto!

How do you like Mike now, Jake? Is it Jake?

So, Ryan Dempster is not your fwiend, guy?

Love Dempster. Hard ass worker.

This is how far he would travel for practises and games in high school: http://maps.google.ca/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=Gibsons,+B.C&daddr=Parksville,+B.C&hl=en&geocode=&mra=ls&sll=49.891235,-97.15369&sspn=28.297189,67.851562&ie=UTF8&z=10

(Plus it would be during a blizzard and up a hill both ways)

WELL DOESN'T THIS JUST BLOW TEH DOORS OF YOUR KITCHEN PORCH.

IM GONNA GO LISTEN TO WALE SOUNDS AND CALMDOWN
CANADA SHEESH
DONT THEY HAVE ANY BUISH FAMILY THERE


UNCLE SAM I MY UNCLE
-TODD JONES

Holy shit I didn't like Yook before and I fucking hatehim now. Beer! Canada!

well, Matt's got a boner.

Well, this is a good time for me to go on my lunch break.

Jimmy got caught up in the bad exchange rate between the American jump and the Canadian jump

dammit, I missed Colonel's comment. But I made it anyway!

Poor Ryan Braun, they could only afford to dress him in clown pants

Jim Bowden 1 Canada 0

Actually, that score is Dominican Republic 10, Jim Bowden 1, Canada 0, but nontheless: fuck yeah Adam Dunn. You can't take batting average home as a souvenir!

I know that shot just made me 12% more excited for the Nats season tickets that the boss bought for us to share.

"There's a guy you'd love to have on your fantasy team... you can book him for 30 holds and 70 appearances."

Fantasy Baseball on ESPN. FEEL THE ELECTRICITY!

If I hear JETER one more time I'm gonna go stabby.

HEY THERE SWAMPRATS GOT SOME TIME TO KILL WHILE SHIELD PUTS US BACK IN A BIG WHOLE SO I FIGURED I WOULD MAKE OUR WEEKENDS AND TELL YOU HOWS IT GOING. SO BEFORE THE GAME I ASKED SKIP JOHNSON IF I COULD DH TODAY AND HE THOUGHT IS WAS A HELL OF AN IDEA SO THATS WHAT I DID AND YOU SEE HOW FAR THAT HAS GOTTEN ME OBVIOUSLY I AM A TWO-WAY MAN NOT SOME LAZY MOPE WHO IS NO GOOD WITH THE GLOVE ON HIS HAND. SO FROM NOW IN I WILL BE PLAYING THE FIELD TOO BECAUSE SCRAP DAVE WRIGHT I SAY I MEAN WHEN I AM IN MY GROOVES I HIT 400 AND WHEN I AM RIDING THE PINE I STRIKE OUT TWICE. ISNT M GUY MCCANN CALLING A HELL OF A GAME I MEAN A HELL OF A GAME FROM MCCANN.

I know I'm like an hour late on this. But I'm still annoyed that Sutcliffe said:

"You know the Red Sox have almost replaced Youkilis a couple times. First Mike Lowell... well where is Youkilis going to go, he goes over to first and does well. Then they're looking at Mark Teixeira... where's Youkilis going to go?"

Um... BACK TO THIRD BASE TO REPLACE THE GUY COMING OFF HIP SURGERY YOU DOPE.

hit the ball Chipper!!

You don't send a Met in to do a man's job! Cripes.

Welcome to New York, JJ. Who decided that these WBC games should be tense?

Damn. Great game, though.

Lloyd will now be forced to write a 250-word recap for us without using the Canadian spellings of words like "color" or "rumor".

Suck it, Americas polite but judgemental neighbor.

WOO SURGERY

I love you Alex

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