WBC Antiglog - U.S.A. versus Puerto Rico

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It's Saturday night, it's actually starting to look like spring, it's the second round of the World Baseball Classic! Thanks to somewhat bizarre format that doesn't measure all wins equally, Team America must take on the mighty Puerto Ricans.

Tonight's game is being played on somewhat neutral ground in Miami with the US of A sending Jake Peavy against the emotionally crippled Javy Vasquez. The United States will be without starting second baseman Dustin Pedroia (creampuffed), non-Putz closer Brian Fuentes (initially bereaved but eventually creampuffed) , and manager Davey Johnson (stepfather of the groom aka crabpuffed).

Barry Larkin will take the helm tonight, auditioning for a real managing job with a thankless role bereft of credit but ready-made for all the blame. Good luck Barry! Internet sensation Chipper Jones took batting practice and felt good, attributing most of his positivity to the "humongous manatee he bagged Friday morning." He'll be limited to DH duties tonight, leaving plenty of time to pack his own buckshots between at bats.

Team Puerto Rico comes in undefeated and more motivated than I can possible fathom. Clubhouse bragging rights are one thing, but colonial bragging rights live forever. Geovany Soto will be the designated hitter and motivational whistleblower for the PR. Your lineups:

THE USA
  1. S. Victorino CF
  2. D. Jeter SS
  3. L. Jones DH
  4. K. Youkillis 1B
  5. D. Wright 3B
  6. A. Dunn RF
  7. R. Braun LF
  8. B. McCann C
  9. M. DeRosa 2B
Puerto Rico
  1. J. Feliciano LF
  2. R. Vasquez 3B
  3. C. Beltran CF
  4. C. Delgado 1B
  5. A. Rios (!) RF
  6. I . Rodriquez C
  7. G. Soto DH
  8. F. Lopez 2B
  9. M. Avilies SS

In a word, this game should be incredible. These are two great teams that are assembled in very different ways. No questions asked Victorino has his work cut out for him, chasing balls around a massive field between one marginal outfielder and another grossly incompetent one. The PR team's defense is solid, but they certainly can't match up with the excellent bullpen and the top to bottom offense of the US. These are two favorites to win the whole tournament, sucks they have to play so soon.

The glogtential is pretty low tonight, but show your fierce national pride or your fierce xenophobic prejudice with some hearty comment banter. USA! USA!


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17 Comments

I'm coming to you LIVE from South Florida...

...a mere 25 minutes from the stadium where I'm sitting on the couch flipping back and forth between games and drinking a mineral water.

And eating some pills from Tijuana.

Oh, I almost forgot about this. Now I don't have to watch the MAC championship!

Zounds! 2-0. Rios!

Just home from the Farthammer wedding. Yes, indeed, I did crash it.

Phillas, did you really? That's a class move. If you did, forget the shot I owe you. I will pay to get you drunk.

Chief,
get ready to crack open your wallet.
Bride and groom greeted their guests after the cocktail hour. I got to them and said congrats to the bride. She said: "We've never met." I said "No, we haven't." She was a bit perplexed, to say the least. Then I said to Fartie: "Congrats. Rob and Kris and crew say hi." He gave me a blank look. Mrs. Fartie said: "This is weird."
I repeated to Farthammer: "Rob and Kris. CTC." A wave of 'oh shit' went across his face, and he said something like: "You're kidding me."
Then I formally introduced myself to them. And again said my congrats. I then walked away and didn't look back.
Last thing I heard was Fartie laughing very loudly.

Slow clap. Just stunning.

Did they butler-passed cocktail wieners? I EXPECT ONLY THE BEST FROM MR AND MRS HAMMER

You're my hero. Drinks are on me when we hang, Phillas.

Congrats again to the Farties.

That is amazing.

This site is the best on the Internet.

Good stuff Phillas, did they have shrimp cocktail?

The thought of Fartie, hungover, desperately trying to get away from is new bride to comment about the crashing makes me very happy.

Staring down at a food processor, trying to remember who Aunt Millie is when all he wants to do is get online and crack wise. Hooray for the internets.

HOLY SHIT PHILLAS GIVE ME A SHOUTOUT AT BRYAN.NABAS@GMAIL.COM YES THAT'S MY REAL NAME I DON"T CARE WHO KNOWS YOU ARE AMAZING I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

He summed it up pretty accurately - when he said "Rob and Kris..." I was stupified. My wife was creeped out for a second. Then he repeated it and as he said, I was like "No fucking way. Dude, I don't even know your real name...what is it?" He told me and I just started laughing my ass off. My wife had no idea what was going on...I laughed like a bastard for 5 minutes. The fact that he just walked away into the night, never to be seen again, really tied it all together.

Phillas, every person I told agreed it was an awesome move. My wife felt bad for making it awkward; you should have hung around longer.

Phillas-- Commenter Hall-of-Fame. I'm sure we could get the percentages up enough to get you in there. Just an amazing move on your part. Fucking brilliant.

CHIPPER JONES quit on the USA!!!

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