Hey kids, coming to you from beautiful Ft. Lauderdale Stadium in my old stomping grounds of Ft. Lauderdale, FL. It's home to the Orioles and the raddest, most old school open air pressbox I've been in. Was just down on the field and in the clubhouses and it's about 76 degrees, and partly cloudy. A light breeze just blew my hot dog wrapper down on the field but I'll make do.
Your lineups and timestamped impressions of today's game, below the jump. Join me, because you're not really working anyway.
Glen Perkins, SP
David Pauley, SP
1:02: The PA guy sitting a few spots down from me seems to have an affinity for classic Aerosmith which is just fine with me. He played Mama Kin earlier with "shit" in tact. I don't think anyone noticed. Now it's "Train Kept A-Rollin."
1:05: Did you know that Orioles fans scream out "O!" during the "O, say can you see.." part of the Anthem? I didn't and I don't think the girl singing did either, judging by the way she jumped about three inches.
1:06: First pitch to Denard Span is a ball. He lines the third pitch into right for a single.
1:10: Casillia sends a single into right center and Span goes first to third with ease. I'm pretty happy with the lineup the Twins sent out today. It's unusual for a team to send this many starters to play in Ft. Lauderdale. The Orioles are a little out of the way these days.
1:11: Crede strikes out bringing up Kubel. He lines one to right and Span scores. 1-0 Twins. I spoke to Ron Gardenhire before the game and asked him if Morneau was pouting about Canada. He said no, that Morneau loved playing for his country but he was most concerned with getting back in camp to practice with the rest of his Twins. I think he was lying.
1:14: Cuddyer hits a double in the gap that scores another run 2-0 Twins. David Pauley aint fooling nobody. Well, except Joe Crede.
1:16: I'm sitting next to the estimable La Velle Neal III of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, one of my favorite beat writers. He tells me that Joe Mauer's back problem actually manifests itself with pain in his right buttcheek. This is the kind of thing we can report to you now that we have access.
1:19: Buscher grounds into a DP. I'm not sure how Redmond got on base. Sorry. That'll end the inning. There are more good looking women here today that any other game I've been to so far. Bob Uecker would be in heaven.
1:21: Brian Roberts grounds out to second base to start the inning. So back to the pretty ladies. Should we thank Baltimore, Minnesota or the fact that this park is in Ft. Lauderdale? I pick C.
1:23: Adam Jones grounds a rocket to third but it's stabbed by Crede. I talked to him before the game and he told me the spaghetti and meatballs he just ate were "to die for" before calling some Orioles coach Richard Roundtree. I'm now a big Adam Jones fan. Ty Wiggington singles to Center.
1:26: Aubrey Huff sends a deep drive to the track in right, Denard Span gets turned around but makes a nice over the shoulder stab. End of inning. These boxes still have analog phones at each desk spot. I feel like I should be calling my cigar chomping, fedora wearing editor with each inning's results.
1:29: Brendan Harris chops one to third. One down. I've been coming to this stadium for a long time. Even when I was growing up in New England and we'd come down here on vacation. The Yankees were here then. I met Mike Easler once. This has been Storytime With Camp Grandpa Claw. Carlos Gomez lofts one over the head of Luke Scott in right for a double, bringing up Span. There's a ton of speed on this team.
1:32: No sooner did I say that, then Span lifted a fly ball to very shallow right, which Gomez still tagged up on and got in by a step. But Casilla grounds out to third. End of inning.
1:35: Infield single for Matt Wieters. Perkins pitches one up and in to Luke Scott and he does this really annoying thing where he keeps his head in the position he moved it to to get out of the way. Sort of an exaggerated freeze frame move. Really annoying. I don't like him. Mostly because he killed the Sox last year, but also for whatever that just was.
1:37: Scott strikes out, which I'm totally fine with. Farney Freel singles to right, bringing up Gregg Zaun who was giving me weird looks in the clubhouse and looks a lot like BJ Surhoff. He lofts a bloop single into right, scoring Wieters. 2-1 Twins.
1:41: Jolbert Cabrera hits a deep fly to Center scoring Farney. 2 Up. Brian Roberts (Go Brian Roberts, Cause You're Really Gonna Rock The Yard) flies out to Center. End o' the 2nd.
1:45: Joe Crede is up he hits a relatively slow roller past Huff's backhand at first. Seemed like an easy play. Could Huff be..... going blind?
1:47: Kubel hits a rocket up the middle into Center almost killing David Pauley. That would have really changed the mood around here. 2 men on. I'm pondering whether or not having a Diet Coke is going to make me look fruity. I'm already the only one here in a button down shirt.
1:49: I opt for a Coke Classic as Michael Cuddyer strikes out.
1:52: Redmond flies out to right. Apparently I'm incapable of paying attention to Brian Buscher at-bats. He's on first base again and I have no idea how. HE'S A GYPSY!!11!ONE!!
1:55: Harris grounds out to second. End of top 3. This stadium has a small airport directly behind RF. I keep seeing this in my head:
1:58: So the hot dogs here are Esskay. Is that a Baltimore thing? Anyone know? Whenever I go to Camden I eat Boog's or I bring my own food. Shaft Jones draws the BB.
2:00: Wigginton scorches a line drive into right that nearly decapitates Jones. He literally had to hit the deck and drop to his chest. Thus he only makes it to second. That makes two close calls today. Blood is in the air and I'm starting to second guess the open press box. Huff flies out to Center.
2:02: Jones steals third and Wieters fouls a ball into the Radio Box about 6 feet to my right. Weird. Super duper weird. Then he pops out to first.
2:04: Ha. Luke Scott almost got hit again.
2:05: He instead draws the walk. Visit to the mound for Glen Perkins, presumably to ask why his name sounds like a 50s country singer.
2:07: Farney grounds out to second. End of 3. I'm going at least 5 today.
2:10 George Sherrill comes in the game. He looks pretty fat. Too many bags of Crab Chips, pal?
2:13: Gomez walks then gets caught stealing. Sherril now has a full count to Span and seems to have no idea where the ball is going to go when he throws it. Span flies out despite this seemingly obvious flaw.
2:16: Wait, no. That was Span on first. Casilla was the one that flew out. And Crede just hit a single to LEFT that Span still went first to third on. I'm a Spanfan.
2:19: Kubel flies out to end the inning but I'm not sure George Sherrill just installed very much confidence in anyone. Except the fine people at Utz.
2:21: Nick Blackburn is in for the Twins. I'm not sure if I should say this seeing as what happened to Shaun Marcum's arm... but Blackburn is my Breakout Pitcher Pick for 2009. Get well soon, Shaun!
2:22: Some dude is pinch hitting for Zaun and he gets a single.
2:25: Jolbert Cabrera grounds into a double play then Brian Roberts hits a soft liner to first. End of inning. BREAKOUT!!!!!!
HoleJolbert makes a nice play deep in the whole at short but throw doesn't have enough on it to catch the speedyl... Michael Cuddyer?
2:32: Brian Buscher K's. There is a billboard on the fence in Right Center for "Weezer Electric." Apparely they do "commercial, industrial and cellular sites" but haven't completed a job correctly in years. Mike Redmond singles to center.
2:34: And another foul comes screaming up here about 5 feet to my right narrowly missing the Twins PR guy. Today is awesome. I'm all keyed up and want to fight now.
2:35: Brendan Harris strikes out. I BET YOU WOULDNT DO THAT TO MY FACE, HARRIS.
2:37: Gomez flies out to first. "Come On Eileen" comes over the PA. At this point I hate just about every overplayed cliched one-hit wonder song that gets blasted on occasions like this. Not this one though. I never get sick of Dexy and his pals. Shaft Jones is up.
2:39: Jones tattoos a double down the left field line. When I interviewed him before the game I asked him the stupid question, "Do you feel like this might be the year you really put it all together from an individual standpoint?" He said he was more concerned with the team putting it all together, OF COURSE BECAUSE WHAT ELSE DO YOU SAY TO A DUMB QUESTION LIKE THAT. But I think he's going to have a good year. That's pretty much what that question meant. I might as well have been talking to myself. Wiggnton drives him in with a double. 3-2 O's.
2:42: Oh damn, this is all happening off Joe Nathan.
2:44: Aubrey Huff grounds out and advances Wigs to third. Up comes Matt "Cocktail" Wieters. HAHALOLAZ
2:46: Wieters strikes out. Nathans fastball sounds about 50 MPH faster than anyone else that has pitched today. It makes a wooshing sound as it approaches the plate. Luke Scott pops out to short to end the fifth... and what the hell, let's keep going.
2:49: Now this PA guy is playing "Mickey" which, and I'm not joking, was exactly the song I had in mind when talking about annoying and overplayed one hit wonder songs. Blech. I may dump the rest of this coke out on the cd player.
2:53: Jim Johnson has good stuff. He strikes out Denard Span with ease moving form corner to corner. He gets two quick strikes on Alexei Casilla.
2:55: Casilla fouls off a few before flying out to the mound. Crede hits a sharp grounder to short but it's stifled by Jolbert and that's the end of the inning. He didn't strike out that many last year but that one quick inning of work looked pretty good for Johnson.
2:57: We have an R.A. Dickey sighting. He's on the mound for the Twins. You know you think you're really cruising along with a glog hitting a stride and then they bring in the knuckleballer. This could go downhill fast.
2:59: Freel it's a screamer down the third base line but the world famous Deibinson Romero makes a Brooks-like dive and catch. Then Greg Zaun strikes out and let's his bat go flying almost killing the Orioles bat boy. I don't like Greg Zaun. Jolbert hits a single.
3:03: Dickey gets Roberts swinging to end 6. Let's go one more inning. We're getting some Magic Bus by The Who. You've redeemed yourself for Mickey, PA dude.
3:06 Wholesale defensive changes for the Orioles but I have no desire to keep up with them. Michael Cuddyer rockets a double off the Esskay Franks billboard in left center. Matt Macri hits a double bringing in Cuddyer. What the hell I missed a run already this inning? Apparently it's 4-3 twins. They have 15 hits and are currently beating the piss out of... (fumbles through roster sheets)... Matt Albers.
3:08: Miek Redmond flies out. Speaking of which, anyone else following Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage's twitter sniping? Macho Man seems obsessed with Hulk in a sad way. Brendand Harris strikes out.
3:13: Carlos Gomez grounds out it's the 7th inning stretch bringing us "Thank God, I'm A Country Boy." I prefer the Kermit The Frog Version. Our seventh inning stretch song today will be Chimpanzee Riding On A Segway by Parry Gripp.
3:19: Two outs were made while I was writing an email. I don't know how they went down. But a gentleman named Robby Hammock hit a single to keep this glog alive. Craig Brazell cannont follow and he grounds out to second. That's it for me! Thanks for joining me today.