The hardest part of writing Creampuff is this witty opening paragraph where I call everyone a nancy. So instead I present this paragraph from AJ Burnett's wikipedia:
The Toronto Blue Jays took a chance by signing Burnett to a five-year deal due to his history of injuries, and the 2006 season began with him going on the disabled list when a piece of scar tissue -- remnants of his "Tommy John" surgery -- broke off in his pitching arm. However, some baseball commentators like RotoWorld and Tim Dierkes sill considered the signing worthwile, since many of the other free agent pitchers that year, like Matt Morris and Paul Byrd had less impressive career stats, even though they had fewer health risks.
Oh, that's rich. On to the fragiles.
- Mark Hendrickson, Orioles: Hendrickson is out with back stiffness, which the USA today says, "further vaidates the acquisition of Adam Eaton" proving that under dire enough circumstances absolutely any human decision can be justified.
- Brad Penny, Red Sox: Penny was scratched for a start this week and is still having enough shoulder discomfort that he has to throw off flat ground. But, that's why they got him for a balloon and a handful of popcorn, so no one should act all put out over it.
- Alex Rodriguez, Yankees: Who?
- Taylor Buchholz, Rockies: Buchholz has a partial tear in a ligament in his throwing elbow. Apparently that only puts you out for a month so his fate is better than that of the Rocky Mountain News. RIP.
- Gerald Laird, Tigers: Laird strained his quad yesterday which is kind of eerie because I drank one.
- Brian Giles, Padres: Giles felt tightness in his quad on Saturday which is kind of eerie because he is an alleged wifebeating lowlife.
- Scott Proctor, Marlins: The Marlins are shutting their would be setup man down for at least a week. How unsurprising is this? I don't know, why don't you ask the guys that named their damn blog "Scott Proctor's Arm"
- Rob Iracane, Walkoff Walk: Common cold.
- Shawn Hill, Nats: Hill had elbow surgery last year and is still experiencing soreness. Dr. Andrews is coming to visit. Not good. Poor kid. I blame Jim Bowden.