What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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newstretcher.JPGThe American WBC team turned out to be LIKE A MASH UNIT. Dustin Pedroia is definitely Radar. In any case, 317 players have now been on that roster and there are still like 5 rounds left, I think. I can't be sure. So what's the deal? As much as your dad would like to, we can't blame the foreigners. They've been in MLB for years now. It's a mystery, Scooby Doo. Since so many of them got hurt down here in Florida I could probably come up with a way to blame Jeffrey Loria. Gimme a couple minutes. On to the complete list of wimps.

  • Melvin Mora, Orioles: Mora sat out Venezuela's game on Wednesday with a sore hammy. He said simply, "it doesn't feel good." He was probably terrible at playing hookie, but no one ever said Luis Sojo would make a good principle. In fact, I'd go as far as to say he's make a terrible principle. He has no background in education, just baseball.

  • Dustin Pedroia, Kevin Youkilis, Julio Lugo, Red Sox: The first two dudes got hurt in the WBC. Pedroia with an abdominal strain (YEAR OF THE OBLIQUE) and Youkilis with a sore ankle. Petey was back at work fielding grounders yesterday, and an MRI on Youkilis was negative. Hopefully the injury woes will clear up for the US. But I'm still not sure why Davey Johnson conducts batting practice under that window with the safe hanging out of it. Lugo had arthroscopic surgery to repair a torn meniscus. Uh yeah... get well Julio... but uh... don't rush back! You may aggravate it!

  • Jayson Nix, White Sox: Nix reaggravated a quad strain that will keep him out for the rest of spring and possibly longer. He was in a position battle at 2B with Chris Getz. That's over now. Nix Nix. Getz gets it.

  • Jerry Hairston Jr., Reds: Hairston caught some sort of viral thing in Mexico during the WBC this week and is banned from Reds camp. Apparently he thought the tap water down there was just green for St. Patty's day.

  • Adam Miller, Fausto Carmona, Indians: The hard luck pitcher is facing that possibly career ending finger surgery I told you about earlier this week. He has "altered anatomy" that the surgery will look to correct, but even if it's successful medically he could still be all done. What a way to have a career end. Lousy stuff, gotta feel for him. Fausto Carmona got hit by a line drive and x-rays were negative. You're supposed to get out of the way, stupid.

  • Hanley Ramirez, Marlins: Ramirez has rotator cuff tendinitis in his right shoulder. I saw Ramirez in camp a couple weeks ago and he looked really huge. Definitely the biggest shortstop I've ever seen and considerably larger than I remember him last year. This arm injury is the first mile marker on the road from him being moved from SS to outfield, then to DH. Get your Soriano on, Hanley.

  • Aaron Boone, Astros: Rob chronicled Boone's impending heart surgery earlier in the week. Boone's career may be over but he will still be able to lead a productive and worthwhile life afterward, unlike Bucky Dent. Good luck, Aaron.

  • Cole Hamels, Phillies: Up and down week for Hamels. At first people thought his arm was gonna fall off, then they did tests and it seems fine and he's ready to resume his spring schedule. What a faker. Stop wasting my time. The only good thing about any of this is that I got to keep reading Rich Dubee's name. Hehe. Rich Dubee.

  • Erick Aybar, Angels: Raped by a wallaby.

  • Casey Janssen, Scott Rolen, Blue Jays: Janssen had some shoulder tightness during a start this week. He's trying to comeback from surgery that kept him out for the enirety of last season so this isn't "tight" in a good way like your idiot cousin with the sideways hat always says. Scott Rolen's back hurts. Maybe because he's been lugging that hardcover copy of The Jungle around for two years.

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Hanley Ramirez? Good thing I picked him second overall in fantasy on Wednesday.

Why in the hell did I take Erick Aybar in the first round?

Actually, Scott Rolen got a Kindle 2.0 for his birthday and promptly downloaded The Jungle--and only The Jungle--to it.

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