A Reason to Celebrate: Brian Giles is Baseball's Least Valuable Player

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christian_bale_american_psycho_003.jpgWe here at Walkoff Walk aren't so petty as to hold grudges...oh wait, we most certainly are. Drunk drivers and domestic abusers get a rough ride here because, basically, screw them. A common whipping boy has long been Brian Giles. The lumpy tanning enthusiast gets away with scummy behaviour because of his consistently high level of performance on the baseball field. But no more!!

Everyone's least favorite ball player is officially the least valuable player in baseball this season. So far in 2009 his offensive numbers are reminiscent of a man who left his bat under the Petco aerator. His traditional slash line of .169/.234/.197 adds up to a whopping .431 OPS. Correcting for ballpark and league averages brings Brian's OPS+ in at 19! 100 is league average, he's a 19.

Getting on base was always a calling card of Giles, who once walked 135 times in a season. 2009 has changed all that! Suddenly Giles strikes out almost twice as much as he walks without any power to show for his flailing. Pounding balls into the ground at an unprecedented rate while hitting line drives increasingly rarely won't get Giles out of this slump any time soon.

Not content to hurt his team only at the plate, the aging outfielder's defense is now doing more harm than good also! His long long affair with orange skin shows Brian knows how to care for leather; sadly his glove lies neglected and underused. Being bad at a relatively unimportant position on the field only strengthens his status as baseball worst bargain.

Adding his impotent, replacement-level offense to his zombie-level defense gets you a player worth more than 7 runs less than replacement. He tried new bats & extra BP, nothing seems to fix his swing or the unbearable karmic load he carries to the plate ever night Take heart Brian, it's still only April. You still have 5 full months to achieve new levels of awfulness.


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9 Comments

I may not be reading those stats right, but it appears that Conor Jackson is edging Giles for worst in the league.

But, according to Farthammer, his sister's a whore, so who cares?

it appears that Conor Jackson is edging Giles for worst in the league

Shit, I just got hoodwinked by Matt_T.

(cough) steroids (cough)

I wouldn't call her a whore. I'd just say she bones pretty early in a relationship.

Giles is obviously suffering from a case of douche flu.

Even worse is his salary for the money starved Pads.

ps. suck it icarane

Rob, you got more than hoodwinked by matt_T

Or as I like to say, "Giles is shooting (Kyle) Blanks from the top of the (Kevin) Towers."

Yeah, so it's not funny. I don't care.

Damn you Connor Jackson and your shifty 0 for fours

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