Baseball Before Bedtime: It's a Shame About Ray

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Here's what happened in baseball last night, when you put the cobwebs back in place:

Astros 8, Reds 3: Wandy Rodriguez lived up to my expectations and held the Redlegs to one run over seven innings in front of the smallest crowd in Great American Ball Park history. Obviously, Cincinnatians stayed home to avoid spreading the dreaded spaghetti flu.

Mariners 9, White Sox 1 (Game 2): The Mariners salvaged the second half of a true doubleheader behind the stellar pitching styles of Felix Hernandez. Picture it: eight scoreless innings, four hits and nine strikeouts. The White Sox were so afraid of the baseball, you'd think they thought the ball was carrying some sort of horsehide flu.

Indians 9, Red Sox 8: The Red Sox winning streak ended at 11 games on an oopsie by pitcher Javier Lopez. With Mark DeRosa on second and one out, Kevin Youkilis made a backhanded stab to stop Asdrubal Cabrera's sharp grounder then flipped to Lopez covering first. Lopez dropped the ball as if it were hot and/or stricken with some sort of feline flu and DeRosa rounded third and scored the winning run.

Braves 2, Cardinals 1: Matt Diaz' seeing-eye grounder up the middle scored two runs in the eighth after Cards reliever Kyle McLellan pulled a Farnsworth and bloated the bases with three walks. Whoops! It's almost as if he was avoiding the strike zone because he feared it was infected with some sort of tater tot flu. Comedically nicknamed Jo-Jo Reyes had a solid start, going seven innings and allowing but one run.

Yankees 11, Tigers 0: Suck it, Jerkwheat.

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I don't think "Suck it, Jerkwheat" sufficiently describes the bed-shitting that the Tigers bullpen pulled off last night. Ten runs in the seventh? In a scoreless game? Leyland is pinning this one on you, Liakos.

Lohse v. Jo Jo Reyes: Least likely pitchers duel of all time?


It sounds like a Street Fighter matchup.

punch = SONIC BOOM

Oh like any one of us couldn't score at least 6 off of the Nate Robertson-Brandon Lyon awesomeness.

I remain convinced that Edwin Jackson is going to beat the living shit out of Brandon Lyon at some point this season.

Anyway, tonight is Dreamboat vs Joba. YOU CAN'T BEAT NEW JERSEY, ROB.

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