Baseball Before Bedtime: People Got a Lotta Nerve

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Here's what happened in baseball yesterday when it pinned you down to the bottom of the tank :

Yankees 5, Athletics 3: The Yankees and A's combined for only one home run but it came off the bat of Johnny Damon in my general direction and I panicked. My job was to box out the jamook sitting to my right so my dad could reach up with his glove and snag the towering tater tot. So I set my position, but no jamook! He was two seats over and hadn't realized the ball was coming our way until the last second. By that point, he had figured out what was going on, barreled over me, and put his hand over my dad's glove at the last second, just in time to knock the ball down to the field level seats. Oh, and the Yanks won.

Indians 8, Royals 7: Cleveland tried, tried, tried to give this one away but the Royals just weren't biting. After building a 1-6 deficit, the fighting Kaycees nipped and nipped some more, but still managed to ground into six double plays in six straight innings. They made a winner out of Aaron Laffey and a saver out of Kerry Wood. Victor Martinez' two run ding-dong in the eighth proved to be the margin, y'all.

Rangers 5, Blue Jays 4: Roy Halladay was vulnerable and ineffective last night, like a thirteen-year-old boy who just confessed his undying love for his sexy and smart 32-year-old science teacher. Doc gave up two-run homers to Ian Kinsler and Nelson Cruz and could only count on a matching homer from Aaron Hill. WHERE WERE YOU, SCUTARO? Halladay has his first bad outing on the year while Rangers moundman Brandon McCarthy has his third serviceable start in a row, moving to 2-0 on the year. Run support is good.

Phillies 11, Brewers 4: Although technically, the score of the game was Phillies 11, Ryan Braun 4. Fella clobbered two tater tots among his career-high five hits and his four RBI, but his buddy and our pal Manny Parra got stinkerooed for the third straight time, letting in five runs in four innings. Pedro Feliz rewarded me for starting him over Chipper Jones on my fantasy team by homering.

Cardinals 6, Mets 4: Maybe Gary Sheffield should be playing left field for the Mets. He couldn't have botched that Rick Ankiel game-winning double any worse than Daniel Murphy did in the eighth inning, diving for a ball that just didn't want to GET IN THAT GLOVE. The Cards came back from 4-0 down to win this one, thanks to a fifth inning meltdown from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Oliver Perez. Jason Motte got his first win and Ryan Franklin his first record-setting 8225th save on the year.

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That Indians-Royals score is wrong and it was Franklin's third save of the year.

Are you sure you didn't get sunstroke again?

One thing leads to another

Rob, you were victim to the classic challenge of defensive rebounding while playing zone. FIND YOUR MAN--FIND YOUR JAMOOK!

Gorge is right. You gotta put a body on THE JAMOOK

You are a failure as a son and a human. But not that bad a blogger, so ya got that going for ya.

Rob, were you the guy right above the U in the UTZ sign?

I am right above the U in the UTZ sign, yes. But I am short, dressed in dark colors and barely visible between the grown men wearing fake baseball jerseys.

I'm still disappointed that Rob was wearing a green Yankee hat.

His pink hat was in the wash.

Maybe you should have put your $15 prime rib sandwich down before the ball came your way, and you wouldn't have had to cower like a ninny.

I will defend my green Yankees hat to the death, just as soon as I can figure out how to remove the small white shamrock on the back. I DONT ENDORSE YOUR LIFESTYLE, IRISH PEOPLE

Rob, I thought I recognized you from somewhere. You were in House of Pain, right?

two words Rob: green sharpie.

I bought the same green / shamrock'd hat, the Phillies version. I also have the blue one with the green logo and shamrock. I am so ashamed.

Bigger faux-pas: green Yankees hat or grown man with a glove at the game?


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