Here's what happened in baseball yesterday while you were pretty sure you saw Troy from West Virginia's peas and carrot:
Rangers 9, Indians 1: Reigning Cy Young wiener Cliff Lee got smacked around while frequent whipping boy Kevin Millwood was stellar. Doth this speaketh more of the pitchers' respective characters or more towards the adeptness of the respective lineups? Me thinks the Rangers are made for power while the Indians are made for...um...not doing well. Hank Blalock smacked a three-run tater tot and Jarrod Saltalamacchia added a dong of his own. Young stud Elvis Andrus had a hit and a run and participated in two double plays. Hey, the Rangers made no errors!
Mets 2, Reds 1: Neither Johan Santana nor Aaron Harang were dominant, but their opposing offenses (apart from Daniel Murphy's solo happy jack) did nothing spectacular and the game ended with a low score. Santana and Harang combined to allow seven walks over ten innings; Johan's seven K's helped his cause. Make that eighteen straight starts for the Mets ace without a loss. Also, the Mets bullpen was nearly flawless: in 3 and 1/3 innings, only J.J. Putz allowed a baserunner and that was with a walk. Frankie said relax and got the save.
Pirates 6, Cardinals 4: Not every team performed well with their new closer. New Cards closer Jason Motte shit the bed in St. Louis, coming on with a two-run lead in the top of the ninth and leaving with a two-run deficit. The Pirates loaded the bases, tied the game, and took the lead on a two-out double by Jack Wilson. Motte's final line: 1 IP, 4 H, 1 HBP, 4 ER, 1 blown save, 50,000 Cardinals fans' hearts broken.
Diamondbacks 9, Rockies 8: We all wanted a pitchers duel between Brandon Webb and Aaron Cook. We all got a tater tot parade and a back-and-forth run-splosion that ended in Arizona's favor. Felipe Lopez and Tony Clark became the first teammates to stroke dongs from both sides of the plate (kinky!) in the same game since Jorge Posada and Bernie Williams. Chad Tracy won it all in the seventh with his own solo tot off former Tigers reliever Jason Grilli. Troy Tulowitzki, Chris Iannetta and Seth Smith hit solo homers for the Rockies to complete the full day of ding-dongs.
Orioles 10, Yankees 5: Small sample size! Slow starts! Someone save Sabathia!
Also, the Jays crushed the Tigers behind Adam Lind's 6 RBI, Ken Griffey's eighth career Opening Day homer led the Mariners to a win over the Twins, and Carlos Zambrano and Hiroki Kuroda pitched well in victorious fashion.
I'd be remiss if I didn't congratulate our commenter The Colonel for winning the Walkoff Walk NCAA Tournament Pick 'Em Pool. I'd also be remiss if I didn't point out that I finished ahead of Kris.