Pirates 7, Astros 0: Zach Duke unleashed his fingers of fury on the baseball, and the baseball responded. Fella went the full nine without allowing a single Astro to cross home plate and cheering up the Pittsburgh crowd during the home opener. It was also a day that saw both teams honor fallen Pittsburgh policemen with special hats. Nice gesture, guys.
White Sox 10, Tigers 6: THIS! IS! COMERICA! Jermaine Dye and Paul Konerko marked a similar milestone as both hit their 300th career tater tots, back-to-back at that. Zach Miner allowed the historical homers and took the loss, while Gavin Floyd notched a win despite giving up six runs in five innings. If that's not proof enough that the "win" statistic is overrated, then I got nothing for you.
Phillies 9, Nationals 8: Washington's pursuit of 162 losses continues in Nationals Park, as the Nats opened up their home schedule by getting bumped by the rival Phillies. Reliever Saul Rivera futzed up a tie game in the seventh by plunking two batters before allowing a three-run homer to Ryan Howard. Raul Ibanez and Shane Victorino also ding-donged.
Padres 6, Mets 5: The Mets officially christened Citi Field with a loss to the Padres. Did you expect any less? Jody Gerut hit the first homer in Citi Field history, Adrian Gonzalez hit the second, and Pedro Feliciano balked in Luis Rodriguez with the would-be winning run, moving San Diego to an NL West best 6-2 record. But hey, David Wright notched a huge dong that let Mets fans witness the hilarious oversized home run apple for the first time. Good for him.
Dodgers 11, Giants 1: Orlando Hudson cycled and Andre Ethier added two homers as Los Angeles was victorious in their home opener against Randy Johnson and the Gints. Randy's teammate and knitting bee partner Barry Zito was displeased with the results, but will take a day and reset.
Rays a lot, Yankees a little: When Nick Swisher is called on to pitch the eighth inning, you know things have gotten out of hand.