Brian Wilson's Tweets Open Window Into a Tortured Soul

| | Comments (10)

Yesterday, Giants closer Brian Wilson came into the ninth inning with a 4-1 lead to protect and promptly blew that lead up like it was toxic. He gave up a two-run tater tot to Justin Upton as part of a four-run Diamondback rally that eventually led to a San Fran loss. Bay City Ball breaks down Wilson's performance or lack thereof, but the true key to his blown save against the otherwise poor-hitting Diamondbacks can be found in Brian's assorted Twitter musings from the night before (read from the bottom up to get the full Brian Wilson experience):


From those 140-character-or-less microbloggings, I can assemble the following timeline for Brian Wilson's Saturday night out on the town of Scottsdale:

  • 9:00 PM MST: Round up bros Nate "Nate Dogg" Schierholtz, Matt "Cain Dogg" Cain and Travis "Half Asian Dogg" Ishikawa to bro out with some doggs on the Scottsdale strip.

  • 9:15PM MST: Bypass velvet rope line at Myst thanks to Matt Cain being 2008 face of the franchise.

  • 9:25PM MST: Get recognized by only meatheads in Arizona who shave their biceps and follow the NL West.

  • 10:00PM MST: Witness tussle between two twentysomething males hopped up on Red Bull/vodkas, comment to Nate Dogg how easily they could take the entire club if only Bengie (Molina) had showed up.

  • 11:15PM MST: Totally own meathead with aptly chosen bon mot. High five Cain Dogg.

I have no comment on Bri Dogg's affinity for white mocha fraps and Reebok pumps.

(We owe a pallet of Cokes to Big League Stew's News 'n Notes)

PREVIOUS: Pollution in the Bay - What's Wrong with the Rays?   |   NEXT: Tonight's Questions


Is the numerical first person better or worse than the regular first person?

38 loses brah

It appears that Mr. Wilson thinks that Don Johnson was in a show called Arizona Vice.

Um, aside from swooning over Reebok Pumps, all of BW38s other Twitter updates are now gone. Is there a WoW reader in the Giants PR office? SCANDALOUS.

Or maybe my browser isn't working very well right now. Either way.

This is the worst road trip he's ever been on.

Ooh, perhaps we'll get our first ever WoW cease-and-desist!!!

I once heard a guy on the radio, who fashioned himself an expert on celebrity nudity, state that Don Johnson's johnson was "as big around as a beer can." You be the judge:

Well, they all can't be Rod Beck.

MASSIVE BRIAN WILSON UPDATE: "WARNING-do not take my twitters seriously, they are made up stories that reflect my humor. No i didnt jack a city bus. could be neat though!"

Will do!

"Lyin on Tweeter
Just like Brian Wilson Did
Nah Nah Nah"

Um, Dock Ellis pitched (a no-no) on LSD. What's wrong with being a little hung over?

Leave a comment