Dodgers Stock Up on Hand Sanitizer, Extra Wary of Andre Ethier

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If there's any place a disease can spread quickly, it's a baseball team's locker room. Just ask our own Kris Liakos who came down with a serious case of shingles after spending a day interviewing the Mets in Port St. Lucie. The Dodgers, within a stone's throw of swine flu epicenter Mexico are on high alert:

The swine flu scare hasn't caused any panic in the Dodgers clubhouse, but head athletic trainer Stan Conte monitors news reports because he's seen how viruses can be passed from one player to another when so many spend so much time together in close quarters.

"Obviously, it's a concern," said Conte. "There's always a certain percentage who get the flu and this variation is more contagious. We carry the medication they recommend and if one of our people gets sick, we'll get them to a physician."

Local elderly man and Dodgers team ambassador to old people Tommy Lasorda is reportedly upset and confused about how swine flu can be contracted. He's demanding that he still be allowed to consume his daily allowance of seven capicola and soppresatta sanguiches.

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What are the odds that Fernando Valenzuela is patient zero?

The swine flu will reach the Dodgers by late June but leave in early August to beat the rush.

Matt Stairs eats Swine Flu for breakfast.

I'm eating a mortadella sanguiche for lunch. fuck off Mr. swine flu.

@UU: Baloney.

@Rob, no baloney. I really am eating mortadella for lunch today.

Andre Ethier had the grilled pork chop with the swine flu reduction the last time he reviewed Cicada, and was nonplussed.

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