Jerry Manuel Puts Mets Rotation on Notice, Is Probably Bluffing

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The New York Mets have gotten off to a middling 6-9 start, thanks mostly to poor performances from the members of the starting rotation whose name doesn't rhyme with Schmohan Schmantana. It's true, check out the stats:

Johan Santana319.25270.461.23
Livan Hernandez316477.316.33
John Maine315.29117.475.19
Oliver Perez31512157.804.48
Mike Pelfrey210658.107.91

Stinkeroo! Besides Johan Santana and his tidy 0.46 ERA, the other four starters have an ERA of 7.62. So Mets manager Jerry Manuel is putting his pitchers on notice and threatening to make changes:

"If it doesn't get any better, then you have to make some adjustments," Manuel said after his club fell to 6-9 with its fourth straight loss. "It's really that simple. It's not rocket science. If they ain't pitching, then you've got to find somebody that will pitch."

No telling where he is going to find these magical starting pitchers that will somehow right the teetering ship in Queens. If they existed, why not sign them in the offseason? Oh right, you let them all sign with Atlanta. Besides starter Tim Redding, currently working out in extended spring training, the Mets cupboard is pretty bare. But hey, at least the bullpen hasn't blown any saves yet.

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What sort of "adjustments" is Manuel proposing? Will they bring back Pedro's magic dwarf?

He is going to reanimate Bob Apodaca's corpse with his tranny magick.


the Brian Banister for Ambiorix Burgos trade is starting to look a lot worse. I'm pretty sure Bannister could be their #2 starter right now.

If they existed, why not sign them in the offseason? Oh right, you let them all sign with Atlanta.

You just made Frank Wren's day

I'm just happy that the Mets starters are keeping the spotlight off of the Phillies' rotation, which is a combined 3-6 with an era above 7.

Watch out, Honeynuts. I can cobble together an informative table and Colbert graphic just as fast for your shitty team.

They can have Phillip Humber back.

Shit. I thought this site was good for only one HTML table per month. I didn't think you had two in ya.

I didn't notice "FELLA" until I looked at the table a second time. Nicely done, Mr. Iracane.

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