One If By Land, Two If By Town Car: Alex Rodriguez Is Coming

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News out of Tampa is that Alex Rodriguez could be back even sooner than you expected, Yankee fans! And don't lie to me... you're all really stoked. A-Rod pulled the oldest trick in the book. He took a page out of Joni Mitchell/Amy Grant/Counting Crows' playbook and was like "Listen you Dagos, you don't know what you've got till it's gone." You paved Yankee Stadium and put up a parking lot. Now the second best hitter in baseball is back and you're all gonna be like "Sorry we doubted you. Please come back! We're 4 games behind the Blue Jays!"

Dr. Marc Philippon watched the three-time AL MVP's on-field workout Wednesday at the Yankees minor league complex and said Rodriguez could return to the majors ahead of his May 15 target date.

"He's looking good. Looking awesome,'' Philippon said.

Rodriguez slid five times on a sliding mat for the second time, ran the bases and took 112 swings in regular batting practice.

Philippon said after watching Wednesday's session that "it's crystal clear'' that Rodriguez will be strong when he returns to the Yankees.

"Are we starting to get excited? Yes,'' Yankees manager Joe Girardi said Wednesday night in Detroit before the series finale against the Tigers. "He's taken several steps this week and not had any setbacks.''

Did you read that? According to Dr. Marc Phillipon... WHO IS A DOCTOR, Rodriguez went from good to awesome within the span of a single sentence. That's progress with a capital prog. Not only is Rodriguez going to hit an assload of dingers in that new stadium, if MLB can approve his sliding mat, he'll steal a bunch of bases too.

But seriously, A-Rod is back soon. It's proven that you can come back from this injury if you're a good player. So I'm sure it won't be a problem for a great player. Now go trade him for a pitcher.

UPDATE: At least there's no newly-revealed steroid allegations or hilarious nicknames about Alex that might stoke the flames of discord. - Rob


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7 Comments

Philippon said after watching Wednesday's session that "it's crystal clear'' that Rodriguez will be strong when he returns to the Yankees.

That's quite an awkward statement Doc, given the new relevations regarding Mr. Bitch Tits.

"Listen you Dagos, you don't know what you've got till it's gone."

It's like he's talking directly to Me and Rob.

I call a May 30 return. It will just happen to be the 50 game mark.

I heard he was suspended for excessive gambling with Charles Oakley.

WHAT ABOUT THE Q-TIP AND JANET JACKSIN AND DILLA VIRGIN KHRIS..........JONI MITHCELL NEVER LIES.........AM I RIGH OR WHAT CHIPPAH..........LETS BUMP THIS AT THE NEXT BBQ

How dare he ruin the good name and reputation of the Yankee organization.

He took a page out of Joni Mitchell/Amy Grant/Counting Crows' playbook ...
You forgot Cinderella: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUA0ai0XxRU

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