Opening Day Lineupstravaganza: Nats @ Marlins, 4:10PM

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Get ready for Adam Dunn, Washington fans. The hulking slugger makes his Nats debut today in sunny Florida as baseball's worst team in 2008 heads south to take on the Marlins. Hey, it can't get any worse, right folks? Austin Kearns won the starting right field job from Elijah Dukes after a decent spring. Look for Austin Kearns to be the first player ever shot in the kneecap by a teammate sometime this week.

The Marlins look to improve on their surprising third place finish last year, but will most likely regress to the bottom of the standings with their poor defense and questionable health of team star Hanley Ramirez. In other news, with the departure of Mike Jacobs to KC, Sassy Senior Jorge Cantu slots over to first base and Emilio Bonaficio becomes your Marlins third baseman and, inexplicably, your Marlins leadoff hitter. You know that Cameron Maybin is a high-OBP, fast dude, right, Fredi Gonzalez? Batting him ahead of the pitcher will surely mean many trips down to second base on a sac-bunt followed by an inning-ending pop out by Bonafacio.

Lastings Milledge, CFEmilio Bonafacio, 3B
Cristian Guzman, SSJohn Baker, C
Ryan Zimmerman, 3BHanley Ramirez, SS
Adam Dunn, LFJorge Cantu, 1B
Nick Johnson, 1BDan Uggla, 2B
Austin Kearns, RFJeremy Hermida, LF
Ronnie Belliard, 2BCody Ross, RF
Jesus Flores, CCameron Maybin, CF
John Lannan, PRicky Nolasco, P

Want to play "Guess the Attendance" for this affair? If it's a sellout, I'll eat my hat. When our own Kris Liakos almost decided on the day of the game that maybe he'll pop down to Dolphin Stadium to check out an OPENING DAY GAME ON A WHIM, you know your team is having trouble drawing fans. Unless, of course, Kris is merely headed down there to try out for the Manatees. I wouldn't put it past him.

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I'm not trying out for the Manatees, I'm trying out to become an arepa salesman.

Attendance: 2,540. It IS Opening Day and the Marlins new stadium has been in the news.

What's the O/U on K's for Dunn this year?

That is one doughy white boy.

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