Opening Day Lineupstravaganza: Yankees at Orioles, 4:05

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The AL East kicks off this afternoon in Bodymore at the beautiful Camden Yards. With about 500 new stadiums built since Camden, it's gone from modeling itself after a classic park to actually becoming one. New York sends CC Sabathia to the mound. I think Yankee fans are excited about this fella. The Orioles will start de facto ace Jeremy Guthrie, the best pitcher on what has the potential to be a truly gruesome staff. Today marks the dawn of the Cody Ransom era at 3B for the Yankees. That's all fine and good but will he hit in October when the heat is on? Cesar Izturis and Ty Wigginton make their Oriole debuts.

Joe Biden throws out the first pitch, so the forecast is calling for overcast skies and lots of teeth. Onto the lineups:

Derek Jeter, SSBrian Roberts, 2B
Johnny Damon, LFAdam Jones, CF
Mark Teixiera, 1BNick Markakis, RF
Hideki Matsui, DHMelvin Mora, 3B
Jorge Posada, CAubrey Huff, 1B
Robinson Cano, 2BTy WIgginton, DH
Xavier Nady, RFLuke Scott, LF
Cody Ransom, 3BGreg Zaun, C
Brett Gardner, CFCesar Izturis, SS

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More people will reconize Cody Ransom then Joe Biden

If Camden Yards had open concourses, it would still stand amongst the Pantheon of 1990s-2000s ballparks. But since you can't watch the game when you're on line for a wiener, screw it.

Cody Ransom would make a great rapper name.

Cody "A king's" Ransom. I hate you Chris Berman.

I also predict Sterling's home run call for Teixera will be either, "the Mark of Tex-ellence" or "Tex Marks the spot". I hate you John Sterling.

Joe Biden's Eye Job would make a great name for a band that Kris would link to in Tonight's Questions.

"Teixeir it goes!"

Pronounced "Teh-SHARE it goes!"

Brian Roberts is still alive? I thought his immune system set itself on fire, burning nerves in his back and side in the process.

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