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- 12:10, Marlins at Braves: Break out the broom Matilda, the Marlins are goddamned good. Anibal Sanchez, he of the 5 innings of scoreless baseball faces off against Kenshin Kawakami, he of the 6 ok innings. I am Lothar, Of The Hill People.
- 12:35, Astros at Pirates: Cecil Cooper's Astros won on the same day I lit his chair on fire. Note to all Houston fans: If you give me money I'll go on a real spree and you'll win the World Series. I accept PayPal and coffee. Russ Ortiz vs. Jeff Karstens.
- 1:05, Indians at Yankees: It's Lee vs. Sabathia in the Battle to see WHO IS THE BEST LEFTHANDER STARTING IN THIS GAME!!! The Indians won last night too after I lit Wedge's chair on fire. I guess baseball managers are no different from every one else in the world... just waiting around for their chance to make me look stupid. Oh yeah, I almost forgot: DMAC GON' GLOGGIT.
- 2:20: Cardinals at Cubs: It's the most underrated rivalry in sports... wah wah... why does everyone hate the midwest... wah wah. I don't hate the midwest. In fact I love it. Favorite part of the country. I just hate the Cardinals. Adam Wainwright vs. Sean Marshall.