The Red Wheelbarrow: Today's Afternoon Games

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  • 12:35PM EDT, Angels at Orioles: Filling out the rotation has become a real task for Mike Scioscia's Los Angeles Angels of Angelheim squadron. Today, he unleashes the questionable right arm of one Shane Loux into the suffocating confines of Camden Yards, against one of the more prolific AL offenses. Baltymore counters with Koji Uehara, who is making his third home start of the year and is totally due to give up a tater tot tidal wave.

  • 1:05PM EDT, Pirates at Brewers: In true Pittsburgh Pirates form, the Buccos have lost 14 straight against the Brew Crew and 17 straight games at Miller Park. They'll try to stop all that nonsense today behind the jazz stylings of Dover, Delaware's own Ian Snell and his troubling 1.07 K/BB ratio. Milwaukee counters with Bob Uecker's unintentional comedy and Yovani Gallardo's emerging ace status.

  • 1:10PM EDT, Marlins at Mets: Get your liveglog blazers out of the hall closet, Mabel, because our sister Sooze is going to liveglog this sucker for me and you and everyone we know. It's a stellar pitching matchup: Johan Santana defending his home court against upstart fish Josh Johnson. It's the catch of the day!

  • 2:05PM EDT, Mariners at White Sox: Erik Bedard's hips don't lie. Well, not anymore. Fella has a three-game quality start streak in which he has struck out 21 batters while walking only 3. He'll test his curveball against the mettle of Gavin Floyd in today's rubber match. Gavin Floyd's mettle is not dissimilar to Mastodon's metal, so much cooler before it got big, man.

  • 3:10PM EDT, Padres at Rockies: The shiny winners gloss is fading off the Padres' finish, dudes. They haven't won a series in two weeks but will try to get back on that horse today in a rubber match against Aaron Cook and the Rockies. Cook has given up five ding-dongs already this year, all of which have strangely occurred away from Coors Field. His home ERA is 4.50; his road ERA is 15.63. Elevation-related home-field disadvantages, you're doing it wrong.

  • 3:40PM EDT, Cubs at Diamondbacks: Milton Bradley is back, people! Lucky for him, it's in the loving racially-equal arms of Phoenix, Arizona instead of the hate-lined streets of Chicago. Fella is 2-for-11 against D-Backs starter Doug Davis in his career. That means nothing.

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5 Comments

tater tot tidal wave

Miguel Cabrera will pay $500 to learn the location of one of these delicious flash-fried natural phenomena.

Tater Tot Tidal Wave is actually Mastodon's new side project.

In the future, all our energy needs will be fulfilled by harnessing the Tater Tot Tidal Wave.

@Farthammer
Matt_T already loves it.

Its a concept album about a group of angry Tots who form an army to take over the world.

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