The Song of Despair: Today's Afternoon Games

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  • 2:05 PM EDT, Athletics at Rangers: The Oakland Athletics fill a disabled list with certain aplomb and frequency. The latest victims are Mark Ellis and Nomar Garciaparra, who thinks the swine flu might be going around the clubhouse, but no worries, because the A's just called up Eric Patterson! Don't bat him leadoff! Hahahah. Dallas Braden and Vicente Padilla go mano y mano. Padilla has an 8.27 ERA but has decent strikeout numbers so he'll probably shut out the A's today.

  • 2:10PM EDT, Blue Jays at Royals: Kansas City and their fancy remodeled ballpark look to become the first squadron of aught-nine to win a series against the vaunted Blue Jays. Something tells me that if they succeed, they won't be the last. The Jays have still not played a single game against the A.L. East. I stand by my theory that the entire Blue Jay empire will crumble by Memorial Day. Former OriLOL Brian Burres and his 12.46 ERA take on former Brave Kyle Davies today.

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Fucking swine flu has already claimed me.

It's that or allergies.

Poor Corey, LilPatterson has a job, but big bro is stuck in the minors

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