Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog Club: Braves at Phillies

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2009.0408.daultonring.jpg

Are you as pumped for the first businessperson's special of the year?!?! I know you are. Hi, I'm Dan McQuade, author of Way Back Base Ball (which I occasionally remember to turn in) and I'll be your guide during today's inevitable Phillies loss to the Atlanta Braves.

But don't fret! It's ring day for the Fightin' Phils, and we can be safe in the knowledge that one day, some young player from this team will sell his championship ring like Darren Daulton decided to; hopefully whoever does this (Kyle Kendrick?) down the road will be using the proceeds to finance a book about metaphysics.

Liveglog is after the jump, folks - Rob

2:31: We're about a half hour from game time, so let's play ball! Uhm, in a half hour or so.

2:38: Phillies announcer Harry Kalas just threw out the first pitch. Apparently, though, we won't be getting parachuters coming down to the field, as it's too windy. Typical. No, really, it's typical. This happened last year, too. I believe the fans booed.

2:40: I'm not sure what the lottery is like in your states, but here in Pennsylvania we have an audio-animatronic groundhog who urges us to sell scratch-off lottery tickets. There's also a drawing called "Super 7" that pulls 11 numbers out. You only need to match 7!

2:42: The rings are being brought onto the field in an ambulance with a police escort. Phillies pre-game analyst Ricky Botallico just said, "I don't think anyone's seen these rings yet." Then pre-game host Michael Barkann talked about Facebook and Twitter and how Comcast SportsNet is all about Facebook and Twitter.

2:44: Here's someone who hasn't seen the rings yet: The viewers. Hey, zoom in a little guys, the ballgirls are putting them out on the table.

2:46: The announcers have now pointed out that J.C. Romero is probably "feeling a bit wistful today" because he still has 48 games left of his suspension for failing a drug test.

2:47: Also here today: Kyle Kendrick (from AAA Lehigh Valley), Adam Eaton (from Baltimore), Pat Burrell (who has to get up to Boston for a game tonight), Geoff Jenkins (from unemployment)... ha, ha, Adam Eaton!

2:49: A video feature is playing. It opened with Harry the K saying that baseball has more history and prestige for the winner than any other sport. What about the marathon?

2:56: The moment we've all been waiting for: Adam Eaton gets roundly booed by the Phillies fans.

2:58: J.C. Romero receives a rousing ovation from the drugged-up crowd.

2:59: Comcast SportsNet finally showed its stock footage of the rings, which it clearly had for a while but didn't show until Charlie Manuel got his ring. Thanks to me being a huge dork, I know how to get an image of it -- and not just by taking a photo of the television.

2009.0408.phillies.ws.ring.jpg

I'm recording this ceremony in 1080i, if anyone was wondering.

3:01: One might forget from all the ovations Pat Burrell has received in Philadelphia since leaving town that, during his time here, he was roundly booed and hated by a large percentage of the fanbase. Fortunately, since around 2001 I've been operating on a "never forget" policy and, as such, I do not forget. Then again, people wanted Ryan Howard traded last May and Charlie Manuel fired early last September. So, yeah.

3:03: Burrell has quite a nice suit on, by the way. Quite nice. Geoff Jenkins did not wear a tie. Jimmy Rollins got his ring last, as they introduced the players in reverse order of the Game 5 starting lineup.

3:09: There's another (another!) pregame World Series remembrance video before the game starts. Hey, don't try to run this title into the ground of anything, Phils.

3:11: Here's my favorite sign in the stands today:

2009.0408.coste.rules.jpg

Coste does, indeed, rule.

3:12: Oh, yeah, there's a game today, too. It's about to start. Fun fact: Joe Blanton's ERA was 4.20 for the Phils last year. Coincidentally, April 20 this month is dollar dog day at the Phillies. What a cross-promotion! (Also: You can't get through a Dan McQuade liveblog without a pot joke, I guess.)

3:16: Phillies announcer Chris Wheeler, on the ring: "It's a pretty good piece of bling, is what it is." And with that, the word bling was retired from the English language.

3:20: We're about to start. Blanton is going up against Javier Vazquez. Unfortunately for them, though, I have a copy of Rick Steves' Iran on my laptop I've been itching to watch. So they better give up some runs, or else I'm switching over. (This is where the pot joke was originally going to go.)

3:25: Blanton strikes out the first two batters, including Kelly Johnson on an 82-mph change-up.

3:26: Raul Ibanez Is Worse Than Pat Burrell Watch (part 1)! Yunel Escobar doubles off the wall; he was a dead duck at second except Ibanez' throw might as well have been to third.

3:27: And it's 2-0, Braves, in the first inning, for the third straight game. Brian McCann hits one just inside the right field foul pole to give the Braves more runs on that swing than the Phillies have scored all season.

3:32: J-Roll grounds out to first base to continue his torrid hitting (1-for 10). More importantly, who the hell goes to McDonald's for gourmet coffee? I've seen 15 ads for it already.

3:36: Shane Victorino grounds out and Chase Utley K's to end the inning. In 19 innings of play so far this season, the Phillies have had exactly one productive inning, which ended with Ryan Howard striking out looking and Raul Ibanez striking out looking.

3:38: The Braves have a different lineup today; Matt Diaz -- name pronounced, for some reason, as dye-AZ -- is in left for Garrett Anderson and Omar Infante (who led off) is at third for Larry Jones. Ha, you see what I did there?

3:41: Phillies color man Chris Wheeler informs us that Javier Vazquez hit himself in the face while bunting once. He strikes out, still scared to get hit in the face, apparently. With a 1-2-3 inning, this has the potential to be the best inning of the season for the Phillies.

3:44: Ryan Howard hits it really deep to left center, but rookie elf Jordan Schafer tracks it down... and drops it as he hammers into the wall at Citizens Bank Park. Welcome to Philadelphia, rook! It goes down as a double for some reason.

3:47: BEST PHILLIES INNING OF THE YEAR! Raul Ibanez hits it off the facing of the second deck -- the "DRINKABILITY" sign, I believe -- and it's now 2-all. Ibanez moves into the team lead for RBI with 2, passing Jayson Werth's 1.

3:49: By the way: Pat Who???

3:50: After a Pedro Feliz walk, a replay shows Ibanez' homer just went into the lower deck. My fault for trusting the Phillies play-by-play announcer to correctly call a play. It's still early in the season. My apologies.

3:52: Joe Blanton bunts over Feliz and Ruiz, and now with two outs Jimmy Rollins has a chance to strike out with two runners in scoring position.

3:53: SportsNet interrupts Rollins' at-bat to show Joe Blanton's home run in last year's World Series. Hey, the Phillies were in the World Series last year?! I didn't know.

3:55: Rollins strikes out. I don't create the prophecies people, I merely channel the spirits to receive them.

3:56: By the way, from now on this liveglog is going to be called a liveglog-plus-plus.

4:00: Whee! Two singles sandwiched around a walk and the bases are loaded with nobody out. The Braves shall return things to normal when Brian McCann hits a two-run double here.

4:02: The spirits lied to me. McCann merely hit a single to right. Still, the natural order of 2009 baseball -- and most of baseball history -- has been restored. It's 3-2, Braves.

4:04: Things look bad for the Phillies as Blanton goes 2-0 to Jeff Francoeur. And then it happens: Francoeur singles up the middle to score two more runs.

4:06: Matt Diaz doubles in two more, and it's 7-2. Joe Blanton's ERA is currently too high to calculate. For me, at least. But it's a lot more than 4.20.

4:13: After a merciful end to the top of the third, the Phillies come right back with a Shane Victorino triple, one that could have been caught by that rookie elf on the Braves. But, hey, I think the Fightins will take what they can get right now.

4:16: The Phillies are delaying me from watching Rick Steves toke up in Iran. Chase Utley reaches on an error and heads to second to boot. Chase will still get that RBI on the groundout; it's 7-3.

4:18: After Utley gets stranded by a long Ryan Howard pop-up and Jayson Werth grounds to third, Raul Ibanez comes up, with a chance to make us all forget about Pat Burrell once and for all.

4:19: He swings wildly at a 2-0 breaking ball, making us remember Pat really well. He ends up getting pitched around and walks. This actually makes us remember Pat, too!

4:20: Pedro Feliz grounds out on the first pitch. How does one pretend to write stoned? I could do like 100 jokes right here, but I don't really know how to do it. Thoughts?

4:23: Wait, I came up with a better idea than pretending.

4:24: By the way, Omar Infante is halfway to the cycle now after a double there. I doubt he'll be tripling today, though.

4:30: A lot of people have been wondering what Philadelphia (or at least Phillies) fans will do now that the championship drought is over. As you can see from this screenshot, instead of slumping back in their seats and saying, "Typical," when the Phillies do something stupid -- like, say, falling behind 7-2 -- they will do this:

2009.0408.wheresyrring.jpg

Oh, I am so excited for a year or two of this.

4:31: After a pair of strikeouts and a walk, Carlos Ruiz catches a Casey Kotchman foul ball off the screen behind the plate (after dropping it, of course). The ump for some reason calls Kotchman out, but the call gets fixed. He's due for a homer now.

4:33: Hey, he grounded out! The Phillies celebrate the commercial break with some World Series highlights, of course.

4:34: My favorite local ad during sporting events in Philadelphia is, by far, one for a place called "Steak 'Em Up." I think this really needed to be shared with all of you, so I uploaded it to YouTube.

The bullet holes are a really nice touch.

4:37: This inning, so far, has been an extended explanation of the Phillies' championship rings. (Did you know they got them today?) There are apparently 103 diamonds on it, one for each win from last year.

4:38: Team president Dave Montgomery and ex-GM Pat Gillick are apparently going "around the country" to give rings to players who weren't able to attend today's ceremony. Neat!

4:41: Announcer Tom McCarthy -- the Phillies change announcers approximately three times per pitch -- informs us the concession stands have been busy the first three games of the season and will continue to be busy throughout the year. Thanks, Tom!

4:43: Joe Blanton is finally out of the game, by the way. J.A. (pronounced "Jay") Happ is in for the Phillies.

4:46: Jordan Schafer, the happy elf, hits a hanging breaking ball into the right field seats. Another homer from the eight spot for the Braves! It's now 9-3, Atlanta, and the concession stands are getting much less crowded.

4:50: "Jay" Happ got out of the inning, but not before I noticed his hilarious headshot:

2009.0408.jay.eh.happ.jpg

By the way, I've now seen the "Steak 'Em Up" ad seven times so far. Can't nobody say I never did anything for the peoples.

4:54: ALERT: THE ANNOUNCERS HAVE INFORMED US THE PHANATIC WILL, INDEED, BE RECEIVING A WORLD SERIES RING.

4:57: WE NOW HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE THAT THE RING IS, SADLY, NOT COMICALLY OVERSIZED.

2009.0408.phanaticring.jpg

Sorry, Rob.

5:02: UPDATE: THE TV JUST SHOWED A CLIP OF THE PHANATIC RECEIVING HIS RING. IT IS COMICALLY OVERSIZED. ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

5:07: Here is photographic proof.

2009.0408.phanatic.ring.real.jpg

5:10: The game is still going on, by the way, but it's more boring than an extended, breathless recap of the status of the Phillie Phanatic's championship ring. It's 9-3 with one down in the bottom of the sixth.

5:13: Jimmy Rollins strikes out to end the sixth. I'm going to the deli to get a soda so I don't have to see the Steak 'Em Up ad again.

5:20: Back! I really just discussed the Phanatic's oversize novelty championship ring with a friend from high school, who works at the deli. He also claimed the Phanatic "hadn't been funny this year."

If Phillies fans have given up on the Phanatic already, we might as well just end the season now.

5:24: I just read a Bill Simmons column and actually enjoyed it. Things are weird right now, clearly; maybe the Phillies can turn this around after all.

5:25: The bases are apparently loaded for Omar Infante, by the way, after a pair of walks by Chad Durbin. He's definitely walking in Infante here, too.

5:27: And Durbin walks in a run. The spirits didn't tell me that one, if you're wondering; that was so obviously going to happen I couldn't even bet on it online. (I tried. Really.)

5:42: "just so you know, its perfectly kosher to stop a glog midstream," IM from Rob Iracane, 5:31 p.m. Forget that, though! I'm going to do a few more updates before this one ends. By the way, it's 10-3, Braves, but the Phillies have two on with 1 out in the bottom of the seventh. Jayson Werth is up to strike out or something.

5:49: Werth -- who won the Phillies' first game last year with a walkoff walk -- walks, and Raul Ibanez and Pedro Feliz follow with 1 single and 1 RBI each. Now it's 10-5, the bases are loaded, and Matt Stairs is pinch-hitting with a chance at a slam.

5:51: Peter Moylan opens with three straight balls. GIVE STAIRS THE GREEN LIGHT, CHARLIE!

5:52: Eh. Doesn't matter. His fourth pitch wasn't close to the plate and the tying run for the Phillies (!) is coming up after a pitching change. Moylan's ERA so far this year is infinity!

5:54: Everyone knew this game would reach a pivotal moment when Blaine Boyer faced Chris Coste.

5:57: WALK PARADE! At this rate, the Phillies are going to get a go-ahead walk here soon. Coste walks, J-Roll walks and suddenly it's only 10-8, Braves.

5:59: Bobby Cox takes out Boyer; he'll have an ERA of either 0 or infinity for the year after this inning. Shane Victorino is due up after some more ads for McDonald's gourmet coffee.

6:01: McBaseHit! Shane Victorino singles to right, everyone moves up a base and, amazingly, this game is 10-9 and the Phillies still have the bases loaded with one out.

6:03: It's 3-0 to Utley! And he takes ball four... and they call it a strike! He's due for a slam here, now.

6:04: Of course not, with how this game is going. He takes ball four, part two, and it's another bases-loaded walk. It's tied at 10. Wait, what?

6:05: Oh, yeah, and the bases are still loaded. And noted big time slugger Ryan Howard is up!!!

6:06: And with the way this inning is going, this happens, of course: A Ryan Howard RBI groundout 11-10, Fightin' Phils! It's the first Phillies lead this year, Ryan Madson is up in the bullpen and the Phillies are in position to win their first one in 2009.

6:09: Coste is staying in to catch, Madson is in to pitch, and I believe we have an early frontrunner for image of the year:

2009.0408.costerules.closeup.jpg

Coste does indeed rule.

6:10: Ryan Howard makes a really nice diving stop of a hard Yunel Escobar grounder, then throws it wild to first... but Ryan Madson handles it anyway! Suddenly, everything is going right for Philadelphia.

6:13: I blinked -- or, rather, checked out the Lacoste cologne sample my girlfriend got in her Sephora order -- and the half-inning is over. A broken bat groundout to Utley and a short ground out to Madson. 1-2-3 and we're off to the bottom of the eighth.

6:16: The cologne, Essential, by the way, smells pretty good. I've worn Nautica Competition since, like, 10th grade and I don't see any reason to stop, though. Oh, right, the game! Raul Ibanez walks to lead off the 8th as the Phillies offense continues to find the only way to succeed this year is to not swing.

6:18: Or swinging 3-0! An excellent green light by Charlie Manuel leads to a double by Pedro Feliz and runners on 2nd and 3rd with nobody out.

6:19: By the way, this sure has been an interesting way to open the afternoon liveglog regular season, hasn't it? A liveglog worthy of being called a liveglog++, if I do say so myself.

6:22: Eric Bruntlett flies out to center, scoring Raul Ibanez. It's 12-10, Phils. A Chris Coste single to shallow right makes it first and third with one out for J-Roll. Hey, calm down, Phillies! Don't score all your runs at once!

6:24: One Rob Iracane -- of the blog Walkoff Walk, which I highly recommend for its liveglogging++; -- passes along this incredible live win percentage graph from today's game.

6:27: The Phils save some runs for another game as Rollins strikes out and Shane-O grounds out. Brad Lidge is in and the Phils can shock the world, or at least the Walkoff Walk liveglog commenting club.

6:29: We come in from the break with World Series highlights of Brad Lidge ending the Phillies' win in Game 5, which gave the Phillies the win in the World Series. (Perhaps you've heard of this event. It happened in the 2008 World Series.)

6:31: Brad Lidge strikes out Jeff Francoeur with a slider stopped nicely by Chris "Coste Rules" Coste.

6:32: On cue, Matt Diaz homers to left field. I've already received text messages predicting Lidge's first blown save as the Phillies closer. Of course.

6:33: Groundout makes it two down. If the slugger from Rookie of the Year comes up to pinch hit, get me the Phillies on the phone! I know how to strike him out (the floater).

6:35: Stop texting me! Lidge is 1-for-1! A strikeout by Lidge and a tag by Coste wins it. This game is over and I am not writing any more. Scroll up and look at the "Coste Rules" guy a few more times if you want more entertainment.


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111 Comments

Dmac, you gonna live-glog the ring ceremony? They just brought out Harry Kalas, and the rings are being wheeled onto the field as we speak...

Chipper is out for the game today. Bruised thumb. Probably all those WoW comments.
http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/braves/stories/2009/04/08/chipper_braves_thumb.html

Put away your Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog Club Spring Training Windbreakers, and break out the Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog Club Blazers! Gentlefolk, let the hilarity and half-glogged games begin!

You may know Dan McQuade from such educational blogs as "Hot Foots - the Silent Killers".

The Phillies have selected their most dignified and solemn employees to bring the rings on the field... the Ballgirls. I guess the Phanatic's opposable thumbs aren't opposable enough to carry 30-odd ring boxes.

Ballgirls with boxes, indeed.

Does Dmac know his is supposed to quit gloging sometime between the third and sixth inning?

Stadium Announcer: "Presiding over the ring ceremony is David Montgomery, President and CEO of YOUR Philadelphia Phillies." He should have continued "... you know, the guy you absolutely hated up until 6 months ago."

They also credited Pat Gillick as being the man who "constructed" the World Champion Phillies. Ed Wade just slammed his head on his desk.

Burrel later tonight: Hey guys, I just got back from Philly. Want to see what they gave me?

You know, this is the first ever ring ceremony I've ever seen, on TV or in person.

Hey guys, I just got back from Philly. Want to see what they gave me?

And then he unzips his pants...

Co-workers are betting on which player will be announced last. Some say Rollins or Utley. I'm going with Hamels.

I'm going with the Phanatic.

I say Moyer.

TV, internet, AND gambling. Your work really does have it all. Well, except for high revenues

I know we're in a recession, but does the ring need to be so understated?

That's actual size, Colonel. How else do you think it fits on Uncle Cholly's finger?

@bc

We were shooting cee-lo during our morning meeting. I hit boxcar triples and the place exploded. Today was a good day.

Side note: I hope Lloyd knows these gals.

i wonder how Cubs fans feel every year on this day?

That man is merely endorsing "The Coste Rules", or a set of rules that govern Chris Coste's life including "never swear on a Monday" or "eat your broccoli stem first". Follow the Coste Rules, and you'll be a better man.

Those rules are in the preface of his book.

Comcast's standard def feed is really, really dark for some reason. Its as if they're playing the game in an unfinished basement. NO YELLING, DAD'S NAPPING.

Are they booing yet?

It must make those Energizers that they are throwing at Blanton look like Duracells

McDonalds coffee is surprisingly decent. It's better than the Dunkin Donuts coffee in NYC.

Alternately, the hi-def feed is crystal clear and bright as the sun, even on a standard def TV. Comcast better get it's rear in gear. Or maybe I should stop doing peyote at lunch (another work benefit, BC).

I don't drink coffee, so mccrap can go suck one.

So I stumbled across the sat feed of the player interviews being conducted in the bowels of CBP right now. The ring recipients not participating in today's action are doing a media session, and Jamie Moyer is absolutely rivezzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Remember when that old broad poured coffee all over her business and got like a million bucks and everyone thought it was ridiculous? The stuff was so hot that it boiled off the skin on her inner thighs and her virginia.

Ba ba ba ba baaaaaaaah. I'm lovin it.

That old broad ended up getting way less in that suit and spent most of it countersuing trying to get more.

HAY GUYZ, LETS GO SPILL OBVIOUSLY HOT LIQUIDS ON OURSELVES AND SUE WHO GAVE THEM TO US!

Anyway, are you sure the Phillies won the world series last year?

@Matt
Good. She shouldn't have gotten a dime as it was. Who puts hot liquid in their crotch? While they're driving, I mean.

Give me back that filet of skin give me that skin
Give me back that filet of skin give me that skin

What if that was you having your skin burned off

If that was you with second degree burns you wouldn't be laughing at alllllllll

@KWSN

I'll double check the World Series part, but I do know that they stomped on the Brewers in the NLDS. That part I remember well.

Or, in which rob is able to enjoy his day off by serenating us in song.

FACE!!!1!!

@Honeynut: let me put it this way, you're playing like the cubs did in the NLDS. At least we still beat you in game 3.

I love Filet of Skin maki, especially if they broil the skin with a little hoisin beforehand.

Ok, is it just me or does the MLB Scoreboard widget not work?

Uh Colnel, it's Scoreboard Little Person. Let's show some class.

Ohhhhh, WIDGET. I see.

DMAC CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE

Dongability.

Look, Brian McCann is good. I do not begrudge him this. But could the Phillies starters quit making him look like Roy fucking Hobbs? Throw him something off-speed, or maybe something that breaks. Challenge him, for once.

Best catcher in baseball.

Where did I hear that before?

For some reason, the widget only works at night. It's like your mom.

ZING

@MA_T_T_

I TOLD YOU THAT LAST WEEK REMEMBER YOU SAID THAT JOE MAUER OR RUSTY MARTIN WERE THE BEST AND I SAID NO NO NO ITS MCCANN TRUST ME I KNOW I PLAY ALONGSIDE HIM AND PLUS HE HAS THIS NASTY CREEK BY HIS HOUSE THAT HE STOCKS WITH STRIPERS I TOLD HIM THAT HE SHOULDNT STICK A CREEK CUZ ALL THE STRIPERS WILL JUST SWIM INTO THE POND AT MY PLACE BUT HE DIDNT BELIEVE ME AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED THEY ALL ARE AT MY HOUSE LETS JUST SAY THAT THE FISH ARE BITING AT THE OL' JONES FARM RIGHT NOW AND THE EATIN IS GOOD

I want a lapdance from one of McCann's stripers.

Who would have thought the A's would trade away a pitcher that is soon to implode?

OOOPS I SAID STOCK NOT STICK

ALSO I REALLY MEAN STRIPERS THE FISH NOT STRIPPERS YOU DIRTY CATS HEH
OL CHIP NEVER MINDS A COUPLE WELL STOCKED STRIPPERS IF YOU NAKED BROADS

Brian McCann has strippers in his creek...film at 11.

"Oh yeah? Well check out my french manicure! Shuttayou face! I'm a Wario! I'm a gonna win!"

Local cable: offering $5 commercials since 1976

In case you were wondering, the rings are 14K White Gold with like 103 karats worth of diamonds. Because when you're dealing with that many diamonds, nothing sets it off like WHITE FUCKING GOLD. Where the platinum at, David Montgomery? They got the hardware at a mall kiosk, apparently. Jostens shmostens.

HOW many cheesesteak places can you guys possibly support up there?

HOW is there a single working heart valve or artery in that entire city?

no platinum as a result of the Xtreme Depression

Right, 103 diamonds, not 103 karats. Makes a lot more sense that way. Either way, way to chintz out with the White Gold.

OH OH ANOTHER CHEAP-ASS SIDE NOTE:
The boxes that contained the rings that the ballgirls carried to the podium are the same exact boxes that the Phils send out full-season ticket packages in. That's right, recycled boxes for the WFC. The recession strikes at every turn, I guess.

Yeah, those rings are pretty wack if you ask me. Championship ice is no place for understatement or discretion.

At least if they decide to pull a Rick James, who ever they punch will have a backwards P on their forehead.

And yes, my team wins the World Series and I complain about the boxes that they used to transport them to the podium. I am a Phillies fan. Welcome to my world. EVERYTHING SUCKS EXCEPT WHEN IT DOESN'T. BOOOO MCNABB

@Matt

It might actually look like this :-P, which would be LOLZical

I hope the Phanatic gets a wacky, comical, oversized ring.

The Phanatic's ring will be launched out of a t-shirt cannon from 75 feet away.

That ring is getting pawned for some blow. Look at that schnoz.

On a related note, I'd like a ring that says Daulton and one that says Phanatic.

Rob, that ring was presented to him by a couple parachuting Marines, though. Defend our nation or present plushies with novelty items, same diff.

I had to turn down two tix to this game, and my boss (whom I would have gone with) just sent me a pic where he is WEARING one of the WS Rings. Seems they brought a ring around to each of the suites for the suiteholders to ogle, try on, kiss, pilfer, etc. It should be mentioned that my boss is a filthy Yankees fan.

Score: Life: eleventy million, Me: STILL NOTHING

Your boss is also bringing the Phillies down from the inside today.

Wait, no, that was Joe Blanton.

There is literally steam coming out of my ears. I am an angry cartoon wolf right now. I am punching the next person who smiles.

-smiles-

Wow, why can't any of the bases loaded walks come in the bottom of the 9th (or later) with the bases loaded?

Bill Simmons had me until he besmirched Tim Burton. Fuck that, the man made Edward Scissorhands.

*with the score tied

Simmons had me until he started talking. Jeez, that voice is annoying.

Dmac
Honeynut can help you with your betting issue.

I've had all I can take. I'm going to drink. Thanks for glogging, DMac.

HIT BATSMAN
O SHIT
SHIT IS GOING TO GO DOWN

Yeah, it's called Howard getting nothing at the plate again.

Never give up hope Dmac

well this is getting interesting....

7 straight balls for the atlanta pen.

WHOOO

COSTE RULES

BROCCOLI STEM FIRST, BITCHES

Did the strike zone disappear or something?

I think we have a new player commenter. COSTE RULES!

Apparently it has.

WTF

Get Shakey Gonzalez out there!

it's like Gagne signed with the Braves.

h8 u bullpen

...

it's like the Brave's pen just all got their names legally changed to Gagne.

That is by far the worst inning I've ever seen in my life.

And two pitchers with infinity ERA. Nice going.

COSTE RULES say to keep your head up, Matt.

What about that inning in game seven of 1991?

I leave my office, it's 10-3. I walk in my door, it's 10-10 with Howard up and the bases are loaded. Two quick outs occur as soon as I turn my TV on. Perhaps I should not watch TV any more.

And when I turned on my TV is when the game went to shit. WEIRD

WE ARE JINXING OUR TEAMS. Um, keep watching, Matt. It'll turn around.

/sneaks away

I just now noticed the guy holding up the COSTE RULES sign is in a neckbrace.

@Matt

He's the guy who got knocked off the street sign after the Phils won last year. Coste drove him to the hospital.

Of course Feliz had the green light on 3-0. When you are Pedro Feliz, the laws of baseball need not apply.

Peter Happy follows the Coste Rules.

@H.I.
That is a better story than anything that could have been made up.

COSTE DOES RULE

@Matt
Um, yeah I made it up. I think you were being sarcastic, but I figured I should mention it just in case, lest you repeat that story to your in-laws or something.

THE COSTE RULES SAY

TACK ON AN INSURANCE RUN IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE

Apparently the Coste Rules also say to hold a runner at third when someone singles to left.

I'm an idiot. Feliz started at second. I thought he was at third all along. The Coste Rules would be right, in that case.

LACOSTE RULES

This is the best picture that I've seen in a long time:
http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2009/0408/espn_g_arodts_576.jpg

Oh come the fuck on. Matt Dye-azz?

Garret Anderson generates just about as much bat speed as I do. AND I HAVE NO ARMS.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

its only one game, yadda yadda, but god damn that fucking sucked.

Coste Rule: If there is a way to pronounce your way funny, do it.

Coste Rule: Always check what you write before you hit submit.

2nd way = name

Thanks D-Mac!!!!

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