What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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Whew that was one long Spring Training. Players were sick of camp when I spoke to them 3 weeks ago, but this past week every single thing they said was punctuated with "I'm just ready to get out of here and get the season started."

So how was your slider working out there? Oh, pretty good, it was diving. I'm just ready to get out of here and get the season started.

Do you think you guys have solved some of your bullpen problems? Yeah I think we made some smart acquisitions. I'm just ready to get out of here and get the season started.

Are reporters allowed to have some of that Gatorade? Yeah go right ahead the cups are down on the right. I'm just ready to get out of here and get the season started.

Lots of dudes got hurt, both in camp and at the WBC, but there was more than enough time for them to rest up and heal afterwards. If guys got hurt two or three weeks ago, their teams have taken special care of them to make sure they'd be ready for Monday. While this super long Spring may have bored the bejeezus out of some guys, it may allow for some of the healthiest Opening Day rosters we've seen in years. Well, not including the following dummies who got hurt too late.

  • Brian Roberts, Orioles: Roberts' list of ailments is so long it looks like it's supposed to be for the whole team. Just in the past two weeks he's had a respiratory infection, back spasms and now the ubiquitous oblique strain. I'm not going to say he's fragile but I did see him riding around camp on a Hover Round.

  • Bronson Arroyo, Reds: Arroyo has fallen victim to that bane of all typists/stenographers/telegraph operators, carpal tunnel syndrome. Oh yeah it's probably not good for pitchers/guitar players either. He had a flare up last year, but didn't miss a start. Apparently this time it's especially nasty. Like the face melters he plays on his Ibanez.

  • Dontrelle Willis, Jeremy Bonderman, Tigers: The Tigers' rough camp continued as a controversial blood test showed Dontrelle Willis having an anxiety disorder and he was sent back to Detroit for further evaluation. Every two bit Grey's Anatomy watching hack in the blogosphere immediately cried "phony" but with psychiatric issues I'm inclined to give the benefit of the doubt. Bonderman's problem is more simple. His shoulder burst into flames.

  • Scott Baker, Twins: Minnesota's Opening Day starter is no longer Minnesota's Opening Day starter. Baker is hitting the deel with shoulder stiffness. Take a cold shower! Lulz. Joe Crede and Justin Morneau also missed games this week. All these injuries problems will be solved next year when the Twins are playing outside in 10 degree weather.

  • Joey Devine, A's: The Oakland starter reliever has elbow problems, is hitting the deel and subsequently brings us our first Dr. Death sighting of 2009. Hello, James how was your winter?

  • Ben Grieve, Retired: Raped by a wallaby.

  • Cha Seung Baek, Padres: The Bros' #3 starter has a forearm strain severe enough to put him on the List. This gives the immortal Shawn Hill a shot in the rotation. Hey if you're trying to bounceback I imagine Petco is a pretty solid place to give it a shot. BELIEVE IN SHAWN HILL.

  • Jonathan Sanchez, Giants: Sanchez burned his finger this week while cooking rice and beans. No word on whether he threw his back out trying to carry that gigantic sterotype.

***BONUS POSSIBLE CREAMPUFF***


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9 Comments

Don't worry Bronson, Mike Einzinger from Incubus had carpal tunnel too, after surgery, he was back playing his axe in no time.

Ichiro? sounds more like Ouchiro.

/hangs head in shame
//leaves room

after surgery, he was back playing his axe in no time.

What a shame.

I thought Joey Devine was competing to be the closer. He's the one that doesn't throw like an orangutan.

medicate da brain an ya save da train

Colonel,

Whoops. Your eye is impeccable.

Average High/Low in Fahrenheit for the month of April
Detroit 57/38
Minneapolis 56/36
Chicago 58/41
Boston 55/40
New York 60/44
Cleveland 57/37

These other cities seem to manage the cold.

I can't be the only one who had a Ben Grieve Jersey after his 1998 rookie campaign, can I?

Ichiro had a bleeding ulcer probably due to stress and is out two weeks.

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