Rockies 5, Braves 1: Jason Marquis is like the baseball version of that guy in high school who you never think will make it big but then shows up at the ten-year reunion wearing cheap leather pants and escorting a 45-year-old stripper, because that is totally success in his own style, man. Marquis was drafted by the Braves and came up through the Atlanta system but then dicked around on other shitty NL teams for a while before returning to the Ted last night to outduel the heck out of Derek Lowe. Didja know the Braves have only won six games at home this year?
Rays 13, Athletics 4: Overmanagin' Joe Maddon decided against batting his pitcher last night and just went with the straight DH method. Seems to have worked as Tampa collected a symmetric nine hits and nine walks and humiliated Oakland starter Sean Gallagher. Jason Bartlett had five RBI, a triple, and a caramel sundae after the game to celebrate. B.J. Upton went 0-for-3 to drop his batting average to an anemic .183. Get that checked out, Beej.
Pirates 12, Nationals 7: The Pirates smacked around the Nats bullpen real good-like to earn a win in an otherwise sloppy game. Ross Ohlendorf picked up the win despite giving up five runs in five innings, all three attempted stolen bases were gunned down, and the Nats committed four errors, two by Cristian Guzman. But hey, it's not all bad news, Nats fans! Guzman had his first walk of the year after over 125 plate appearances! Okay, nevermind, it is all bad news, Nats fans.
Yankees 7, Twins 6: Another one-run win for the Yankees did not come in a wild, walkoff-y way but still provided a modicum of drama. Reliever Phil Coke notched his first career save thanks to some sexy glovework by Mark Teixeira, who saves just as many runs with his mitt as he produces with his bat as per Yankees radio announcer John Sterling. That's a slight exaggeration by Sterling, and not an actual complete effing lie.
Dodgers 3, Mets 2 (11): Ryan Church nearly scored the go-ahead run for the Mets in the top of the 11th but missed third base and was called out. The Mets then committed their fourth and fifth errors of the game in the bottom half of the inning leading to the walkoff win by the Dodgers. To sum up Church's boner, here's WoW reader Metschick's tweet from last night via our pals at the 700 Level: "Just like a guy, skips third base intent on scoring."