Baseball Before Bedtime: Joey

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Here's what happened in baseball last night as I guess you scared me too:

Nationals 5, Pirates 4: Not every game means something in the hunt for the playoffs, but every game means something in the microcosm of itself. When Washington collects four straight singles off Tom Gorzelanny to regain the lead and the bedraggled Nats bullpen earns just its second victory in seventeen decisions, the meaning can be grokked from the relief felt by manager Manny Acta. Which I assume was palpable.

Rockies 9, Braves 0: Aaron Cook provided a bit of joy for his sadsack manager, too, spinning a complete game shutout against the Fightin' Chippers in which he induced 20 ground ball outs and allowed but four hits. No word on the palpability of relief on Clint Hurdle's ugly mug since his team is still mired in the muck. Todd Helton jacked a fourth-inning tetra tot off former M*A*S*H actor Jamie Farr.

Red Sox 5, Blue Jays 1: I could say "I told you so" to all the fans of the worsening Blue Jays offense but that'd be just cruel. Sure, the Fightin' Scutaros managed just five runs in three games against the Red Sox and are now a mere 4-5 against AL East competition, but it'd be simply cruel of me to gloat about being right for once in my life. It's not all peaches and cream for your faithful blogger as Jon Lester pitched out of so many jams last night you should just call him Smuckers.

Diamondbacks 4, Marlins 3: The Snakes took three of four in the Battle of the Last Two Teams to Beat the Yankees in the World Series and Tear My Heart Out of My Chest, this one thanks to Mark Reynolds timely tater tottage. Fish captain Fredi Gonzalez put his foot down and decided that he could not use any of his veteran relievers after a grueling 13-inning nightcap the previous day; thus reliever Cristhian Martinez took the loss in his debut.

Cardinals 3, Cubs 1: Sweep alert! The Cards took all three in the series, scoring only eight runs but using a stout starting corps to allow just two Cubbies to cross home plate. Last night the starter of record was Adam Wainwright who camethisclose to nailing the complete game. Bearded Ryan Franklin recorded the final out for the cheapie save. Albert Pujols hit a ding-dong that knocked out the letter "I" in the Big Mac Land sign in this nationally televised affair.

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Forget to mention that Carl Pavano outdueled Greinke? Where's your God now, Yankees?

Parr was more like a double bogey, AMIRITE?

I didn't know what "grok" meant until I looked it up. This site is too hifalutin for me lately.

Context clues, Honeynut. This site aims to educate and conflagrate.

The worsening offense of the Blue Jays lives and dies by the home run. Over that three game set, the big hit remained elusive, and they were swept away. Toronto pounded out 25 hits over the last two games, and left 56 men on base in the series.

Tonight, the Doctor stops the bleeding. The Jays will be fine.

The Jays will win the pennant.

Leaving 56 men on base would imply that the Jays got 56 men on base in the series, which they didn't. They left 29 men on base over the three game set, which implies they're not getting timely hits, which sounds like a worsening offense to me.


Rob, I'm a journalist, and clearly cannot do math. Thanks for the oversight.

And you're right, there were no timely hits over the three game set. But that won't last. These guys can rake.

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