Here's what happened in baseball last night, when we threw the garbage cans through the storefront window:
Rays 13, Red Sox 0: It doesn't get any more lopsided than this, people. 2008 ALCS MVP Matt Garza flirted with a no-hitter for a bit, but the no-hitter was actually married and hiding its wedding ring. 2007 ALCS MVP Josh Beckett flirted with a quality start, but then the third inning happened and everything went to pot. Garza didn't end up allowing a baserunner until Jacoby Ellsbury's leadoff infield single in the seventh; Josh Becket ended up allowing many, many baserunners, most of which ended up scoring. Evan Longoria fell a triple shy of the cycle and notched four RBI.
Marlins 8, Cubs 2 (10): Sassy Senior Jorge Cantu hit a 7th inning tater tot and bashed a bases bloated dubble in the 10th, part of a six-run assault that broke an extry-inning tie wide open. But the crux of this game was Cub reliever Carlos Marmol fielded Cameron Maybin's sac bunt attempt and threw it somewhere near Albuquerque as Ross G. Load circled third and scored the tying run. Oh, and the Marlins first run in the tenth was scored on Ryan Theriot's error. Oopsies!
Yankees 7, Angels 4: Melky Cabrera and Ramiro Pena provided the big hits in the bottom of the eighth, while the Angels' mistakes were enough to keep them from winning the game. Chone Figgins and Mike Napoli were both caught stealing while Bobby Abreu's misplay of a Derek Jeter single led to an extra run in the fourth. But hey, with those caught stealings, the Angels only left three runners on base. Strategery!