Baseball Before Bedtime: Our Swords

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Here's what happened in baseball last night, when we werestepping on our own toes:

Mets 1, Phillies 0: Possibly the best game I've seen in a while that featured exactly zero earned runs allowed by two veteran pitchers, in this case Johan Santana (10 Ks over 7 IP) and Chan Ho Park (5 Ks over 6 IP). Santana came out ahead, picking up the win when Carlos Delgado lumbered around the bases to score on a Pedro Feliz throwing error in the seventh. Fernando Tatis broke his bat on the game-winning play; the ball rolled slowly towards third base while the barrel of the bat sailed towards Jimmy Rollins, who nearly fielded it. Now that would have been a web gem.

Braves 8, Marlins 6: Sassy Senior Jorge Cantu did almost everything in his power to help the Fish win the game. Fella clobbered two doubles and a tater tot off Derek Lowe, driving in five runs but coming up short against the Braves bullpen. The offensively-challenged Braves finally found a cure for their scoring woes, tallying eight runs off 2006 Marlins draft pick Graham Taylor, who makes a delicious cracker. Lowe takes an ugly win, allowing six runs in five innings and collecting just six groundball outs.

Indians 9, Red Sox 2: Carl Pavano is coming around, people! Hide your daughters! Fella had his third quality start of the season to go along with his three horrendous heartburn-inducing starts that left him with a scar-inducing 16.71 ERA. No matter, Carl shut down the Youkilis-less Sox while Mark DeRosa's tater tot and Vic Martinez' four RBI clobbered Justin Masterson.

Royals 9, Mariners 1: In other bizarro ex-Yankee pitcher success stories (see Weaver, Jeff), Sidney Ponson's fat ass earned his first victory of the year by working around eight hits over seven innings. Mark Teahen homered and had three RBI but the highlight of the game was courtesy of the Royals defense. Outfielder Mitch Maier recorded an assist by doubling up Russell Branyan tagging up at home. His throw reached catcher Miguel Olivo in such a manner that Olivo swung his body around to tag Branyan at the last second....right in Branyan's face. Russell took umbrage. And then took a seat, because the Mariners have now lost three in a row.

Cardinals 4, Pirates 2: Albert Pujols went 4-for-4 with a tater tot. The Pirates had no answer for such a dominant individual performance and surrendered their weapons after just five innings. They took a bus to the hotel and watched "Reno 911" in the LaRoches' room.

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Schafer had 4 strike outs. Might want to refine that teaching style, Chip

You forgot that the Jays played the Angels on the "Rookie" and "Hitter Assist" settings.

Olivo's little hop-step backwards when he realized Branyan was headed towards him made me giggle. I also screamed, because Branyan is a beast and little Miguel would have gotten smacked.

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