Die A Soon, Slow And Painful Death, Gator Fans: The 2009 College Baseball Tournament Part 1

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Well, damn. The Florida State Seminoles (my alma mater) lost to The University Of Virginia Cavaliers (Rob's alma mater) in the ACC Tournament.

The loss not only pushed the Noles out of one of the all-important top 8 seeds, but because life isn't awful enough, the godforsaken Florida Gators snuck in to the 8th seed. The Noles will still host a regional but... ugh. Bad FSU postseason history plus the stench of that Gainesville horseshit makes a man weary of this tourney.

Your 5 word or less breakdown of each clubs using my half experience/half sterotype analysis of the university, below.

1 Texas (41-13-1)* (Cool Music)
Army (34-19) (Veteran's Day Homer Pick)

Boston College (33-24)(My Obnoxious Neighbors)
Texas State (41-15) (Only since 1845!)

TCU (36-16)* (Sunburned Religious Freaks)
Wright State (33-28) (Somewhere West of Pennsylvania?)

Oregon State (35-17) (Don't Be Hard On Beaver)
Texas A&M (36-22) (Ants and Moths. And Mescaline)

Georgia Tech (35-17-1)* (Tech = Cola)
Georgia State (39-20) (Actually in Tennessee)

Southern Miss (35-23)(Oxford Is For Liberal Yankees)
Elon (40-16) (Backwards Nole)

8 Florida (39-20)* (DIE!)
Beth.-Cookman (32-26) (Beth Cookman)

Jacksonville (36-20) !
Miami (Fla.) (36-20) (Weather Name, Fairweather Fans)

5 Arizona State (44-12)* (NO YOU ARE)
Kent State (42-15) (Neil Young Shoots Kids)

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Beth Cookman: Manager, Internal Audit is gonna clean up at those porn awards.

Um, Georgia State's right next door to Tech. You should have said, "Georgia State (39-20) (For kids who can't get into Morehead or Tech)"

I thought Rob went to Seton Hall?

Rob went to lots of colleges, including Hollywood Upstairs Medical College.

Its strange that Florida's baseball team would be so succesful, with the wearing jean shorts as their uniform and all

There's a show on Fox Sports West (or something) called Beaver Update.

There's a show on Fox Sports West (or something) called Beaver Update.

I saw that once. My cable operator charged me $19.95.

Southern Miss is in Hattiesburg and nowhere near Oxford, Kris. GET IT RIGHT GODDAMNIT.

Unless, of course, you were just making fun of Ole Miss for no good reason. If so, carry on.

I was.

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