Grody to the Max: Conor Jackson Has Valley Fever, Like, Seriously

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I hope you fantasy owners out there didn't do anything stupid like trade Brandon Inge for Stephen Drew and Conor Jackson a few weeks ago, because it looks like Jackson has come down with a totally untubular illness:

The Republic reports that Conor Jackson appears to have found the cause of what's been ailing him. "Jackson said he was told after seeing an infectious-disease doctor this week that he had valley fever that led to pneumonia." Ouch. Hard to think of a more debilitating double-whammy.

For the uninitiated, valley fever is a fungal disease caused by spores in the soil. When the earth is disturbed, these spores can travel through the air and be inhaled. It's most common across the Southwest - in 2007, it affected about one person per thousand in Maricopa County, but that's only cases severe enough to be reported. By some estimates, one Arizonan in three has had it at some point, though few seek any kind of medical attention.

According to the Mayo Clinic, "The course of the disease is highly variable. It can take from six months to a year to fully recover, and fatigue and joint aches can last even longer. The severity of the disease depends on several factors, including your overall health and the number of fungus spores you inhale."

My goodness, he's going to be on the disabled list for how long? This is a totally new level of creampuffery.

Also, if one in three Arizonans is suffering from Valley Fever, that partially explains the Diamondbacks inability to score runs. It's not a contagious disease, though, so folks can feel safe to continue high-fiving every single Diamondback except Eric Byrnes. Wear your rubber gloves in that case; hand herpes is no joking matter.

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Dr. House comes through yet again with another diagnosis after his team's only idea was Lupus

I've got beaver fever

/old enough to remember when the song "Valley Girl" was released.

Valet fever, on the other hand, is transmitted via residual ass mung left by the guy who parks your car.


I have ten Zappa albums but none of 'em have that song on it. Am I missing something because I've never heard "Valley Girl"?

Upon hearing 1 in 3 Arizona residents had valley fever, Wayne Gretzky began frantically trying to crossbreed fungal spores and cheese curds in an attempt to keep hockey in Phoenix.

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