Liveglog With Sooze, Zimmerman v. The Giants

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zim.jpgHello again Walkoff Walkers! I've missed you tons. For those of you who are like me, you are tuning into this Washington Nationals game just to see if Ryan Zimmerman will extend his hitting streak to 31 games. Or maybe, you're a Giants fan ...are you a Nats fan? Maybe you like making fun of Barry Zito every chance you get. MAYBE! You are just bored out of your mind.

Whatever the case may be, welcome! This is going to be interesting to say the very least.

T-Minus 4 minutes til the first pitch!

2:45: Oh my good lord, it's Barry Zito's 31st birthday.

2:46: and Cristian Guzman gives him a lead-off single to left for a present.

2:47: Wow! Two gifts in a row, as Nick Johnson singles sharply to right field. Let's see if Zimmerman, who I've dubbed Senator Crushingham (still working out the kink on the whole nickname thing) can knock another one out.

2:50: Not exactly what I was looking for. Zimmerman grounds into a double play. Booo.

2:52: Nationals left fielder Josh Willingham up with two down and Guz at third. You know, stealing home is very in these days.

2:53: And he strikes out swinging. The Giants are coming to bat in the bottom of the first with righty Shairon Martis taking the hill for Washington.

2:54: Before it's too late, I'd like to call your attention to the gayest picture of Zito I could find on the internet.


2:55: Good start for Martis, walking Emmanuel Burriss to kick off the bottom half.

2:57: Martis follows Zito's lead and puts the first two batters on after Edgar Renteria singles to third.

2:58: Randy Winn grounds out, Pablo Sandoval does too. Geez, all I went to do was grab a beer. Martis works quick. Two gone.

3:00: Here's first baseman Travis Ishikawa!

3:01: Ooooh, and he takes one for the team. Bases loaded for centerfielder Aaron Rowand!

3:03: It seems like mabye Sharon Martin could've tossed a better first inning than that. Rowand pops out to third. Lame, lame, lame. Nationals 0, Giants 0.

dookie.jpg 3:05: It's now the top of the second inning and Elijah Dukes, who I affectionately refer to as "Dookie" will lead things off.

3:07: and he strikes out on a curveball.

3:08: Right fielder Austin Kearns is up, and I can find nothing to make fun of him for.

3:09: Kearns grounds out. What a hoser. Two down.

3:10: Ronnie Belliard flies out to center to end the "action", and now we have Nate Shierholtz to look forard to in the bottom half. Nice 1-2-3 for Zito.

3:11: Hot little hands? You dirty, dirty man.

3:13: Nate smokes it up the middle straight to Guzman, and now it's Steve Holm's turn.

3:14: And Holmie pops out in foul territory.

3:15: After seeing four straight fastballs, Barry decides to try one on for size. And ends the inning. Nationals 0, Giants 0.

3:17: Backstop Wil "Too cool for 2 L's" Nieves leads off the third.

3:18: Nieves grounds out and it's time for another pitcher-on-pitcher shit show.

3:19: Hit straight at Zito, who knocks it down sort of, but throws to first too late. An error! On his birthday? That's unfortunate. Nice work, Sharon.

3:21: Back to the top of the order and Guzman flies out to center.

3:22: I miss D'Meat Hook.


3:23: Nick Johnson singles to third, and it's time for Zim to crush one.

3:25: After fouling off a few pitches and taking some junk, Zito walks him on 9 pitches.

3:29: Willingham up with the bases juicy, and he whiffs for the final out. Way to go, buddy!

3:31: Burriss lines out to Dookie to start off the bottom of the third, here comes Renteria.

3:33: First strikeout for Martis on the day, two gone.

3:35: Randy Winn is awfully wiggly.

3:37: And he wiggles his way into a groundout to end the inning. Nationals 0, Giants 0.

3:38: Now is always a good time for a video, and this song has been in my head all day. You guys are lucky I don't drink whiskey before 5pm.

3:40: Dookie doubles to left to kick things off in the fourth and boring old Austin is up to bat.

3:41: A boring old pop out.

3:42: With Belliard batting, Dukes gets nailed trying to snag third base! Nice try.

3:43: Zito gets his fourth strikeout to retire the side and we're moving right along to the bottom half of the fourth.

3:45: Pablo will start it up for us, and meanwhile I'm gonna go burn a heater. I promise I'll be right back.

3:49: Sandoval flies out to center and Ishikawa singles before Rowand pops out. Two down!

3:50: Schierholtz grounds out to end the inning and we're headed to the fifth! Nationals 0, Giants 0.

3:53: Nieves grounds out to bring us some more sweet pitcher-on-pitcher action.

3:54: Martis doubles and we're back to the top of the order.

3:55: Guzman grounds out to Renteria and Nick Johnson is the only man standing in our way of more Ryan Zimmerman.

3:58: Johnson sees three straight balls before watching a called first strike.

3:59: He stays hot with his third hit of the day, driving in the first run of the game. Zim time!

4:01: Oh my gosh, you better tighten your batting gloves some more, geez.

4:02: Zimmerman grounds out to end the top of the inning, but the Nats get on the board. Finally. Nationals 1, Giants 0.

4:05: Holm (we'll call him "Bastard") grounds out to third to give way to Zito, who lines another one to short. Two down.

4:06: Giants second baseman Burriss grounds out and... are those wrap-around Oakleys?!


4:08: That'll do it for the Giants, as we cruise straight to the sixth inning.

4:09: Contrary to popular belief among baseball broadcasters, Coors Light is not the most refreshing beer of all time.

4:10: Dukes grounds out and I'm just going to pretend Austin Kearns doesn't exist. Unless he does something awesome.

4:12: And Kearns walks. I guess that's pretty awesome, all things considered.

4:13: Ronnie's turn!

4:15: Zito is already flirting with 100 pitches. Belliard strikes out, and Zito gets his fifth and likey last K of the day as we head to the bottom of the inning.

4:17: Martis hangs tough with his 1-0 shutout, facing Edgar, who grounds out to third.

4:19: Winn is looking for his first hit of the day. I love how the folks behind home plate flinch every time a pitch is fouled straight back. Pussies.

4:22: After fouling off somewhere in the neighborhood of a million pitches, Randy walks.

4:23: Pablo's turn!

4:26: Goodness, after ALL THAT, he strikes out swinging.

4:27: Winn trucks to second and is credited with a steal and Trav comes to the plate with two out.

4:28: Ishikawa grounds out to Martis and we're on to the seventh inning! Weeeee!

4:29: I'm starting to think Zito can't help but look gay... not that there's anything wrong with that. Welcome back to the hill big guy!

not quite as gay but still gay.jpg

4:30: Wil leads off the inning with a base hit to left.

4:31: Martis lays down a sac bunt and moves the runner over before Guz singles to Winn in left. Johnson in the box, enjoying a 3-for-3 afternoon.

4:33: Make that a 3-for-4 day after reaching on a fielder's choice.

4:35: Wild pitch! Now is the time for Zim to strike, since Barry is over-worked and apparently riled up.

4:37: And the jerks walk him intentionally.

4:38: MERKIN Valdez replaces Zito to face Willingham, and it's about time if I do say so myself.

4:40: One of my neighbors are grilling. I didn't realize I was hungry til just now....

4:41: Willingham lines out to Sandoval (that looked painful) and Dookie comes to the plate. We'll call that ball "fisted."

you suck ronnie.jpg4:43: Someone needs to tell Ronnie Belliard how much he sucks. Maybe we'll get to tell him during this inning yet, since Dookie just nailed a two-run single to center to keep the inning alive.

4:45: Austin Kearns. Ladies and gentlemen.

4:47: Disaster strikes! Nationals 4, Giants 0. Time for my seventh inning beer stretch.

4:50: Rowand strolls to first to lead off the bottom half and give way to Schierholtz, who's 0-for-2.

4:52: Make that 0-for-3.

4:53: Bastard at the plate, facing Martis, who has to be getting tired by now.

4:54: Holm walks to put two on with one out.

4:55: Wild pitch! Man, those are exciting. You thought those fans behind home didn't like foul tips, watch out. The runners advance.

4:56: Rich Aurilia totally blows Martis' shutout with a sac fly to left, scoring Rowand.

4:58: Burriss grounds out to end the inning, and the Giants get a run on the board. Nationals 4, Giants 1.

5:00: Aaron Rowand has to be the suckiest mic'ed-up guy of all time. How many "way to go's" can you say in one game? Mix it up, dude,

5:01: Justin Miller replaces MERKIN and gets Belliard to strike out swinging. God, he's terrible.

5:02: And Wil Nieves goes down swinging, too.

5:03: Look! There's Adam Dunn!

5:04: And he pops out to end the inning. Miller gets the job done in the top of the eighth!

5:05: Joe Biemel takes the hill in the bottom half after a heckuva job by Martis, and Renteria promptly doubles to left.

5:08: Randy Winn grounds out, but Edgar moves into scoring position with Pablo up to bat.

5:10: And he singles to center to put up another run for the Giants!

5:11: Bengie Molina is in to hit for Miller, and Kip Wells replaces Biemel.

5:13: Molina nails one to the wall out to left, but it doesn't have enough legs. Two down.

5:16: Rowand grounds out and we head to the ninth inning. Nationals 4, Giants 2.

5:18: Looks like this will be Zim's final shot at extending his impressive streak after we see what Guz and the Incredible Mr. Johnson can do at the top of the order against Pat Misch.

5:22: Guzman proves to be a difficult out once again, and doubles to left.

5:24: In order to un-jinx Zimmy, I'm going to play this video. He may not be Rod Carew, but he's got mad hits like him.

5:27: Crap.

Well, I don't think that counts. Zim grounds into a forceout before Willingham doubles to center to score Guz and the Nats now take a 5-2 lead.

5:29: Dookie reaches on a fielder's choice and Zim avoids the tag at home to add another run.

5:32: Dookie gets caught stealing and... I blew up the internet again.

5:44: Sooo..... it's the bottom of the ninth now. :) I'm so awesome at this. Shierholtz triples to lead off the inning before Fred Lewis (replacing Bastard) doubles on a liner to left to make it a 6-3 game.

5:45: Rich Aurilia strikes out swinging and the internet seems to be running smoothly now.

5:46: Burriss grounds out, moving Lewis to third.

5:47: Renteria pops out to end the Giants' rally. Congratulations to you all for suffering through another one of my liveglog massacres. I heart you!

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over/under on the # of PBR's Sooze drinks during today's liveglog: 4.5

I'm definitely taking the over, and all the gloriousness that will accompany it.

If Zimmerman gets beaned in the top of the first, it's WAY over.

zimmerman is up.

Over/Under on the number of references to other Alyssa Milano conquests: 1.5

Tangentially related: Sarge Matthews thinks Milano >>>> Love Hewitt.

Josh Willingham is more like Senator Wiffingham, amirite?


My friend's mom's name is Sharon Martin. I wonder if she can throw a sinkerball.

the fact that the picture of Zito was taken in SF elevates the gay factor.

If you squint, you can see a well-intentioned Farthammer trying to sell cakies to suicidal people on the Golden Gate.

Squint harder and you can see an equally well-intentioned Phillas creeping out Mrs. Farthammer.

Is that from Zito's senior pictures?

Now pose over here with your guitar you love so much, and look back whistfully at the camera.

And if you squint really really really hard Zito looks like Pat Benatar.

I haven't made cakies in a while - or talked to jumpers on the bridge. Thanks for the remider!

If I were Zito, I would have chosen the "laser" background.

Steve Holm is a bastard.


Gimme dem gritz or I'ma take them grits from ya.

Pretty sure he ate the other half of that bat.

After fouling off a few pitches and taking some junk

Never before has a player interrupted his at-bat to shoot up. A new MLB fad?

@ dmac

Nah. That happened in the 1980s. But, since somehow the '80s are cool again...

Ooh, good point. I forgot about the famous pine tar heroin incident.

Speaking of YouTube videos, I can watch that college kid hit the 90 footer over and over and never get bored of it.

Total fluke that Dmac.

Braves won in 12 innings. Some dude not named Frenchy or CHIPPER hit a solo tot to win it.

Sheffield struck out looking with the bases loaded and a guy on third. Manuel sacrificed a runner to third in the ninth. Phils can get back into a tie for first with a win tonight. Whee!

I still can't get over that Zito pic. It looks like something that would accompany a police report.

I can't get over that Giants mascot pic. Is he a member of DX? Is he telling the umpire to suck it?

While at Ms. Wahoo's folks house for Mothers Day I saw a pic of my gal in front of a laser background. Still laughing about it.

Way to go, Sooze. Way. To. Go.

Ichiros: He is, actually. That's X-Pac inside the costume.

Zimmerman likely stands one at-bat away from suffering the cruel fate of the WoW Liveglog Jinx.

RIP:Any national media attention for the Washington Nationals.

If there's anyone who can give Zimmerman another shot to extend his hit streak, it's the Nationals' bullpen.

Aw, crap.

The Nats can't do anything right.

Appreciate your usual fine work, Sooze!

Thanks for keeping me entertained while he ultimately failed in the end, though.

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