Mariners Come Up With Cool Promo, We Ruin It

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The Mariners have locked up what is, in my opinion, the finest promo giveaway of the season. They've basically taken Classic TV Friday, made it Marinerscentric and put it on a DVD. It's a collection of all their greatest commercials, given out to the first 20,000 fans. Awesome. I wish all teams did this.

But alas, they don't, and you can't go to Seattle because you spent all your money on cigarettes and gravy. Don't worry kids, I got you covered. Here are the coolest Mariner Commercials I could find on YouTube.


Here's "Ichiro's Autograph" in which the titular Mariner does a solid for a young fan. But until the last few seconds it's ambiguous enough to think that Ichiro could actually be taunting her.

Here's Jay Buhner fretting over his wife's fidelity at an Eagle Hardware store. He's wearing his uniform, and to tell you the truth I can believe that he wore that thing everywhere. Picking out civillian clothes is hard, y'all.

Another Eagle Hardware promo. This one has Alex Rodriguez taking home repair tips from their friendly staff. He was so young, innocent and vaguely likable back then. Bonus points for the obvious HJ allusion in the hammer scene.

Here's Mariner announcer and WoW favorite Dave Niehaus schilling for Brooks Chrevolet and looking like the bastard lovechild of Fred Mertz and Jimmy Buffett.

This is a Nike commercial from when Ken Griffey Jr. ruled the world. The spot is one of the Griffey For President ones. It focuses on his campaign promise of reinstating the game of pepper in baseball parks. I don't want to spoil all the guest stars for you. But they definitely get better than Teve Torbes.

(We owe cold Cokes to the Surviving Grady dudes for finding the promotion.)

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Steve Forbes is my favorite weirdo candidate for president whose dad was a flamboyantly gay business magazine publisher, and who openly advocated giving rich people way more money.

I was hoping A-Rod would be walking around with tight jeans and a flannel shirt. So disappointed.

"courtesy of Abner Doubleday" in the last video made me laugh out loud.

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