Memorial Day Weekend Questions

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Hey kids, you bounced right back again.

  • WHAT can I say about the weekend series that Rob and our commenters haven't said already? I like interleague and there are some good and meaningful matchups over the next couple of days. Enjoy them over beer and a burger.

  • DO you like to eat at the beach? I actually hate it. Sand in my sandwich is a real downer.

  • WILL Rob be greeted at the Heist by an angry mob of Philly natives holding torches and pitchforks? Those commenters don't like me very much either, but I go by my alias. DONT YOU KNOW WHO THE DEFENDING WORLD CHAMPS ARE?

This weekend you'll be in the usual steady hands of Mr. Drew Ghostrunnerbluejayfan. Monday we'll be off EXCEPT for one post. In a tradition unlike any other, I'll be dropping in with my Teams That Were Dead By Memorial Day piece. While you're chopping the condiments for the day's feast, bring the laptop into the kitchen as I declare a handful of teams (and not just the obvious ones) completely out of contention. Should be fun.

Enjoy your long weekend, Americans. Enjoy your regular weekend, Un-Americans. We love you all equally. Same WoW channel.

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Eating at/on the beach is awesome, Kris. Just pretend the sand to be salt/sugar/crystal meth, and get on with it.

Eating at the beach sucks because of not only the sand but because of the winged rats aka sea gulls that circle over you while you eat.

I'll be dropping in with my Teams That Were Dead By Memorial Day piece

Hey Chief Wahoo, wanna carpool to the funeral? I'll pay for gas.

Liquid lunch only for me while at the beach.

I live in Missouri so I don't know what this beach business is all about.

I've got three BBQs, a bachelor party, and tix to Monday's Phillies game lined up this weekend. Tuesday is gonna blowwwww.

I concur with Kris. Eating at the beach is a disaster.

It's like the Ozarks minus Shoji Tabuchi and tubing.

@HI, don't forget to wear your "official bikini inspector" t-shirt.

Eating at the beach is okay if you use things like "coolers" and "paper bags" and don't put your stupid sandwich down in the sand.

I am going to add extra hot sauce to my black bean and corn salad in your honor, WoWies. Have a good one.

It'll match my FBI - Federal Body Inspector - beer coozy.

Actually, we're going to AC (I am a walking Jersey cliche) where I believe we are going to mur.mur at the Borgata. I don't even know where to begin.

I have a FBI t-shirt: Full Blooded Italian

@HI, I think you mean female body inspector.

Thanks for the correction. The job of Federal Body Inspector isn't anything to be taken lightly. (shudders)


I will be attending a wedding this weekend. A wedding, which, per the bride's request, will be dry. I am regretting not having a larger hip flask.

@MDT, a dry wedding? Are they Baptists? I hope you're not bringing a wedding gift.

"Dry wedding" is not part of my vocabulary

A Dry Wedding means it doesn't rain. Has to be. There's no way the bride would impose her wishes, religious or not, like that.

Your religion doesn't tolerate alcohol? Neither does my liver, but it doesn't stop me.

A dry wedding means that the toasts all lack laugh-out-loud humor, instead leaning on the best man's ability to elicit mere snickers from sarcasm.

So like a John Cleese affair. Gotcha.

Dry weddings are complete bullshit. Evil, in fact. If you don't want alcohol at your wedding reception, then don't have a reception at all. Seriously. The ceremony itself is one thing, but a reception is a party, and parties without alcohol are pointless.

It's a dry wedding in that no liquids at all will be served. There will just be tiny plastic teacups and you will pretend to drink tea and talk to the stuffed animals set on each table.

A dry wedding would be like a celibate wedding. No fucking fun.

*I mean a celibate orgy.

/God the weekend can't get here fast enough.

A dry wedding means the couple has sex with their clothes on to consumate.

BBQ at Casa de Palehose, Saturday. So, for any of you in the greater Raleighwood area, don't stop by.

Dry wedding just sounds like an oxymoron. Even the english language thinks this is a travesty.

No eat on beaches.

I went to some parties in high school that didn't have alcohol. They were usually in a warehouse or in the basement of a restaurant and there were a shit ton of drugs. So not at all like a dry wedding.

I didn't drink at the last wedding I attended (after the champagne toast, anyway). But, then again, I was the DJ and the hotel that hosted the reception specifically stated that I wasn't allowed to drink and work, so I kinda had to lay off the booze for that one...

Go to a Mormon reception for all the punch and cake you can stomach. Show up drunk, preferably.

Go to a Mormon reception for all the punch, cake and WIVES you can stomach.


It's a dry wedding in that no liquids at all will be served. There will just be tiny plastic teacups and you will pretend to drink tea and talk to the stuffed animals set on each table.

That sounds better.

I am either friends with or know at least 8 Mormons. There are two types in my experience:

Hardcore, like wera the special underwear and hate gay marriage, or the ones that get wasted and are Mormon in name only.

The Phillies are making the new Yankee Stadium look like CBP on a windy day. THEY DROP BOMBS LIKE HIROSHIMA

/Let that beat take you into your holiday weekend in style

Taking a break from a Good Times marathon to look at related projects.

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