Roger Clemens Doesn't Even Know The Meaning Of Performance Enhancing Drug

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wow.051209.freakydelts.jpg Roger Clemens appeared on Mike and Mike in the Morning this, uh, morning to let everyone know he never took steroids, no way, no sir, no how, and that's his story and he's sticking to it. Still!

Clemens' radio appearance comes on the same day the four New York Daily News reporters release their new book, American Icon: The Fall of Roger Clemens and the Rise of Steroids in America's Pastime. You know what also had four writers and a colon in the title? That's right: Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch. Point for Clemens!

Of course, this book is by the Daily News, not the New York Post. Point for American Icon.

Clemens told the Mikes he's keeping his head up in these tough times; he didn't mention the millions of dollars in salary over the years, but I assume that's helping him quite a bit in these, erhm, troubled times.

Asked about "American Icon," by Daily News reporters Teri Thompson, Nathaniel Vinton, Michael O'Keeffe and Christian Red, Clemens said "I've seen excerpts of the book, they're completely false." He did not specify which part of the book he had seen.

Vinton, also appearing on "Mike and Mike in the Morning," responded to Clemens' criticism.

"Our book is really backed up by a lot of documentation and interviews with key players," Vinton said, "It's not false, we really researched this carefully ... and take it very seriously."

When asked about the physical evidence reportedly handed over by [ex-Clemens personal trainer Brian] McNamee to federal investigators and whether it had his DNA on it, Clemens said "Impossible, because he's never given me any [performance-enhancing drugs], it's as simple as that. He's never given me HGH or any kind of performance-enhancing drug, so it's impossible."

Later in the interview, he said McNamee "... never injected me with HGH or steroids." Pointing out that his family has a history of heart conditions, Clemens said "It would be suicidal for me to even think about taking any of these dangerous drugs."

Hey, look, Roger Clemens knows just as little about steroids as professional sportswriters do.

Brian McNamee's lawyer also appeared on Mike and Mike and said he's totally certain that by speaking out, it means Roger Clemens will be indicted for perjury for speaking at that Congressional hearing on perjury traps. Oh, goodie.

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I was going to do the ol' Photoshop Clemens head on a big roided up guy trick, but then I found the photo I used for this post on Google Image Search. I think I made the right decision. FREAKY DELTS!

I'm feeling the pump currently, and not in the good way.

In the butt, Roger. In.the.butt.

I thought visible striations were only good when you were talking about interlaced fat in a piece of corned beef.

I don't know why I'm adding this comment, and especially now, but for the record: I find the New York Daily News sports section quite enjoyable, when I read it, which is admittedly not all that often. I am pretty comfortable, however, bashing the Post's sports section without much knowledge of it.

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